Friday, August 24, 2018

LET'S GROOVE TONIGHT

As I stepped across the threshold one last time pulling the door closed behind me, the sense of new things ahead was imminent. I was new. I told a close friend I truly felt like a Hallmark movie in realtime. I was somehow suspended up in a corner hovering above watching my Life unfold this past week. The Phenomenon of Wonderment undiluted and vividly clear. The coming together where my mind and desires met my actions and thoughts. I had worked on our Vacation diligently, in fact I worked on a number of them until at last deciding this was where to go and be. I had not visited these parts close to twenty years really. It was incredible to share with my Daughter stories of visits of moments I had shared here. Telling her stories of old and making new memories to reflect on a lifetime. She was learning about her Mom in new ways as I shared and spoke. As we giggled and commented, alas; I too was awakened. Since our trip my Daughter will say, "Ah! this time last week we were doing..." and our hearts are filled instantly. She is a Teenager and I am a single Mom. That right there says it all; I am certain you can easily fill in the blanks but we are continually finding our way. As Life so gloriously mixes the beat we have to move in  a manner as to stay in time. Or we will lose our Rhythm. The older I get the easier I accept when realizing my groove is off and I didn't shuffle in time or shift in tune. It is only part of life and just like Stella, I get my groove back. The part that is emphasized is my or mine. It is how I am wired and vibe. The only way that is instinctual, automatic, involuntary and spontaneous. It is the passion in which my actions are performed. Those heightened moments in watching Theatre when you are moved and inspired. You just flow effortlessly and confidently. We live in a world that tries to thwart our truest selves often times and offer up some diluted or hollowed out version. My main objective for waiting our last days of Summer with my Girl was to remind her of exactly who she is and what she is all about before the bombardment of all the various influences that school life can bring. Especially this year; ruling her school in the Eighth grade. 


As I mentioned, my Daughter just started her Eighth Grade year. Today marks the first week in fact.  I posted on Social Media how Poetic her comment when she and I were both teary eyed pulling up to the school. We always say this same prayer on the way to school since she started and it contains a bible verse. This time it was different. The words were weighted and the emotion was high. She said, "Mom, I always looked up to the Eighth graders, and now I am one." This was such a valuable nugget as if it were wrapped up and presented as the most coveted gift to her Momma. I shall undeniably use this again and again to remind her of all of those underclassmen that too are looking up to her when she chooses the less than regal options for herself. Game changer and I too try to measure myself however the most important one watching me is my Daughter. It is those moments where  you have been incredibly wronged and there before you stands the iluminating two options. If we aren't filled with the resources of who we are deep down; or who we inevidably want and strive to be, our instinct will often times take the lesser of the two options. For instance, when we arrived at the house we had rented for the week; we were very late in the Night, in fact the wee hours of the Morning. I found myself wanting to be more than cross at this pick up truck that was parked in our driveway. We must have backed up and kept going several times until realizing that was our House! Weary and exhausted we gathered our things to move in and make this Home for the next week. I promptly wrote a note to this individual to put on his windshield and when I looked up the look on my Daughter's face was priceless. I explained how late we were arriving and I was not being difficult to block him in I had no other option that I could see and my phone number to contact me as soon as he needed to have me move. Signed your New Neighbor for the next week. When I tell you I made a new friend and he even commented I was much nicer than he would have been; it was fortuitous when we needed his help throughout the week as he lived there. When we were packing up our car to head back Home, he said; "it seems as if y'all only just got here. Y'all sure left your mark around here." That was such a loaded statement on both sides. In one instance it was as if we had only just arrived, however; the change that occured in our lives seemed as if we had been there much longer. 


It was such an unforgettable time. Life changing as Thomas Rhett sings "Life Changes" we could have made his video of our escapades of our week.  I have so many many things to write and share for times to come and feel certain there will be many more things revealed as I carry on. Our House came with a golf cart and on day two it seemed as if we were having battery problems. We never used our car again this week however, this moment we found ourselves trotting from Grayton Beach back towards Water Color and then onward towards Seaside for Lunch. We had noticed in Grayton that our battery seemed suddenly low but they did not have a charger. It seemed as if the normally fun filled ride with our bose speaker streaming our tunes was strained to say the least. Trying to take our thoughts off of this blinking low battery. We giggled as we recalled me having to pull over right in this same spot earlier because our styrophome lid had blown off into the road the day before. I hopped out and sprinted down the road where before I could get to the spot; some less than clever fella in a jacked up pick up truck purposefully and with great precision ran over the lid he undoubtably saw me dashing after. I stopped and threw my hands up and said "Really?! Thank you!!" When only to find the next oncoming car that saw me sadly standing on the side of the road slowed down and stopped for me to dart after my trampled lid. My feelings were apparently more crushed than that of my old faithful lid. That moment by this oncoming car was just the fuel I needed to indeed groove on. I think I skipped back to the cart with my Daughter cheering me on! We were panicked as I kept pulling off of the road and turning off the cart as to preserve the battery. No idea if that even helped but I was able to build my tattering confidence each time.  I called the rental office as they had become my new best friends they giggled when they said this had never happened before. I had to giggle for I was not surprised. 

I thought of an instagram post that Jennifer Garner had only just posted on Vacation with her Daughter where they got lost on their kayacks. Thank goodness for her being real. She will never know how her own transparency of being a single Mom perhaps losing her groove fueled this one. We made it to Water Color amidst my Daughter randomly snap chatting me talking to myself and chanting positive quips. She found it rather amusing at my distress and lack of rythym as I was faking my groove.Or was I??  Immediately I made a friend who just so happened to be an employee of this resort. He happily agreed to help us out. We must have spent close to an hour of moving us, other carts and even a car to reach the charger. Alas, the charger did not match ours. I decided we would go on as our new friend gave us his cell where he offered to be our Hero if we did not make it. I made a pit stop in the grocery to grab a couple of items. I went ahead and got our sherbert for we made different daily flavored waters and mocktails and todays called for pineapple sherbert. I knew this was risky but I knew I was grooving and the show would go on. As I came back to the cart my Daughter looked at me puzzled for I had the smirk that said it all. I confidently pulled out our gallon of sherbert and two plastic spoons. I said to her, "This is life. Real Life. It will always throw you curves and often times not go as planned but always be yourself and be positive and the right thing will always happen. Always." Then I explained to her we only had just this last little piece to get Home. We were going to put on our positive pants and turn it up to ten. We would either make it, as I put our Sherbert in our handy dandy trusted duriable stand the jacked up truck of time. Or....we would be refreshed as we would be a little stalled waiting on help to come we would partake of our picnicked Sherbert. I said Life is always what you make of it. Needless to say we grooved Home in every way with newfound moves and gumption. 

My mind swirls with all that churns within my being. My Daughter laid in her bed last night talking of our trip telling my "other Daughter" about this mere House. I mean from when you crossed over that threshold to the back porch to all the in between. It was the most beautiful depiction as if her words were strokes of paint upon a canvas. I was moved to tears as if she sung a lovesong. Perhaps she was I realized. She was describing more than just a house. It was magical and mystical. The Wonderment of Life is our moments where we find our groove. It is unexplainable to the mind. Oftentimes it is only the truest, most real life moments that you were vulnerable and transparent that is only measured by  the heart and senses. There are several songs that my DJ Daughter played over and over again this week and this by far was her favorite. May we all just be real and realize that as I stated earlier. The only way that is instinctual, automatic, involuntary and spontaneous is to be You. Embrace the glorious wonderment of simple.This is the Wonderment of Life. xo