EUCHARISTEO (THANKSGIVING)

Throwing the ball for my dog to fetch as I lie on the sofa pouring over recipes of days gone by, my mind laden with cold medicine I close my eyes hoping to find relief to my stuffy head and achy body.  I allow my mind to roam as emotions are flowing , I truly believe that everyday should be Thanksgiving and the day itself has never been that poignant for me. Over the years I would volunteer to various places emboding the gift of giving to others from a heartfelt  gratitude of all that I had to be well thankful for but this year with me being sick I was unable to get out there for fear of spreading it to another. My mind recalls Thanksgivings of past as a slideshow of memories engulf me. I recall being a teenager and coming home from Downtown feeding the homeless. The intoxicating aromas lavishly flowed, billowing from the kitchen as I stepped inside of Home. I breathe in now as I close my eyes,  if only I could possibly dare to drink in that moment again, not just of the fragrance but that irreplaceable gift of Home. I believe it was that year or shortly soon after, being the last that Mom was ever able to cook leading our Thanksgiving meal as the Matriarch to our little Family. Perhaps that year was more piercing just coming into what seemed like a palace after being with those who did not have Homes or food as we did. Understanding that we too did not have a lot monitarily as my Mom was left unaided by my Dad to provide for us yet we rarely noticed it in hindsight. I remember how she would have that twinkle in her glorious big green eyes when she dazzled her beautiful smile unveiling those large pearly white teeth when at times she would playfully invite my childhood friend Tracey over for Dinner as we would be having "pretend roast"; it was the cheaper meat but we dined as if it were the finest in the land. What I now know flash forward to today raising my own Daughter it is my rendition of back to the future I realize it is all of these moments of life my Daughter will be remembering on her Thanksgivings looking back. 

This year my Mom said with me being sick let's just pick up our meal and enjoy it so I can rest. Quickly and firmly without any hesitation I dispelled that notion and said the show must go on! I am now about to go to the Grocery to gather our items and I do not believe I have ever been more giddy about cooking and baking just living this moment of Thanksgiving Eve and setting the table for those family members who will join us tomorrow. Looking over the old recipes my Mom's handwriting is engraved on my Soul my eyes  tear up as her penmanship is rather poor these days but what delight I find in admiring these. I asked my Godchild and Daughter the other day what do they want me to make, he is twenty one and rattled off our oldies but goodies, it was truly a gift, realizing these are now part of his heritedge of Thanksgiving and somehow I am part of this and for that I am overwhelmed with Gratitude. Perhaps it is the cold medicine or perhaps I am having an encounter with the true spirit of Gratitude in Thanksgiving this year but I feel stout hearted and solid as in our Pilgrims and Indians in the first Thanksgiving for my heart is full and happily content. I am feeling the Spirit of my Grandmother's who are no longer here alive within my being, catching glimpses of moments with them both in their kitchens back to where they soulfully prepared our meals. You could never eat enough to suffice them they always wanted to serve you more, the more you ate the happier they were! Them in their kitchens was poetry in motion; it was liken to making music it moved you from the earliest of years, I truly believe often times when we follow certain recipes to the detail but something just isn't the same, I believe it was that passion they invoked. Today I realize, I can make a meal, then I can make a meal. Perhaps it is the tenacity within me churning away to muster up the needed stamina to whip this up but there is an awakening in the depths of my Soul and I can tell you it is like I have never encountered. I believe as I have been searching within my own definements I have uncovered so much more. 

As the Indians and the Pilgrims were searching for their new found life let us stop and explore that which we are earnestly seeking that maybe no one may even know but it whispers in the night or it yells over the crowd watching the football game it is imminently there and as that delicious aroma beckoned me from my Mother's kitchen, teasing and tempting my nose it led me by a powerful force an unction to follow. Our First Thanksgiving is a beautiful reminder to dare to Dream and follow after those desires that tell you there is more. We all are on the path to something new and on a quest to follow after our Hearts to come together and regardless of our differences, embracing the things that bind us together from our roots; our Hearts.  

I saw this today and anyone who knows me understands how poetically correct this is of me. I live for fun and depth of meaning and I utterly despise the boring and mondane. The Wonderment of Life is being able to sit; regardless of your choice of meal we have the opportunity to dine as special as our First Thanksgiving Forefathers. May we stop and reflect with Hearts full of Gratitude of all we have and all we are to be. Whether your task is picking up the wine or flowers may you as our Grandmother's soul cooking infused our food with delicious heartfelt ingredients may you exude that to those you share your Thanksgiving with to create an unforgettable memory and if we are lucky it will continue long thereafter the Holiday. The picture at the top of my Daughter and I was her 5 years ago, in second grade on Thanksgiving Eve where she served at our Camellia Ball to the Debutantes where it is framed in my Dining Room and found it timely to share. What awakens within me as this seems like merely yesterday when in essence it was half her life ago. Life is ever changing and we too must move with it but never away from our Hearts as the very thing that we are implored by Shakesphere "To thine own Self (Heart) be True." Happy Thanksgiving xo

PERCEPTION VS REALITY

I lean in with all the weight of my body pushing the door as tightly closed as possible on Halloween decorations, eyes scrunched tightly closed mouth pursed and my body stiffens as I start to release my weight wincing in the thought of the door bursting open and Halloween bellowing from this closet. My body straightens and my head perks up with delight as I pat my hands with satisfaction that alas I had succeeded. One of my favorite things about decorating for any given Holiday is the immsense anticipation that overcomes me as I try to take a gander of the days ahead and what just might lie within them and also; in the taking down of these decorations it is a time of reflection for me, of the moments and memories that now make these items more beloved and evermore special. It isn't merely the fact we love each of these items for the given Holiday we celebrated, moreover it is the giggling as we unpack and thought provoking place as we recount the stories these items hold, eyes twinkling with wonder of what is to come. I am in the process of pulling out Christmas and I am one who still believes in Christmas Magic where anything is possible. I shall leave my Dining Room in tact with the Thanksgiving theme and splashes of our heartfelt gratitude laced within Christmas around. My heart is merry and excitement bubbles up as my percolator coffee maker hums as it brews our special blend for one of my favorite words has been and shall always be Gratitude. I have written about this in past blogs and pray it will always be the unspoken presence within my words and actions. It is as when the knob is turned on the propane tank unleashing from within it's container to light my firepit so shall our actions and words ignite when fueled with this powerful force. 

In this beautiful holiday approaching of Thanksgiving, my thoughts focus on how the Pilgrims and the Indians came together and Celebrated. What I find for me in my life and in my Home with my Daughter is they Celebrated their uniqueness. I love this picture because it shows the serving of one another, despite their differences. Their differences were many but poetically they wove together a glorious tapestry of History that is still revered today. In fact History teaches us it was in 1621 that the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indians gathered in Plymouth for an autumn harvest celebration that is now regarded as the "first Thanksgiving." 

A week or so ago I was in a meeting with my Leaders from my Girls Non Profit Group. These are dynamic young women, spellbounding leaders in the making and already trailblazing in their Schools and Community. I often find myself taking notes from them, as I believe they too are doing with one another. That is where the power of our connection came that evening. In a moment of me pointing out certain girls who were the President of their Senior Class, Azalea Trail Maid another, Tennis Player and Cheerleaders giggling broke out. I stopped in mid sentance my smile could not be contained as I took a gander by asking what was so funny. They were giggling because who I thought was a cheerleader didn't make it this year. I felt so small and horrified that I might have embarrassed her when indeed, they grinned from ear to ear. I attested that is where their power would undoubtably come; it was from them not making it. It was as if the beavers had went on strike and that dam burst loose with waters rushing fervently. Our conversations and hearts were interwoven as you see the doves or tiny birds who fly with the ribbon to Snow Whites hair. The chatterings were turned up to ten as hands were going up and smiles around as we were able to all unmask where we don't always have it all or missed the mark.  I know my hand went up as well and we came together in such a way smiles everywhere with everyone able to be free to be themselves. We all agreed what a sensation this was that needed to be shared amongst the girls on each of their teams because daily we are all striving to obtain our own goals, dreams and following after the unique beat of our own heart. Some needing to be coaxed to begin or get back to it, regardless, encouraging one another by our own fears, limitations and sometimes failures. The Wonderment of Life is despite it all to keep going fervently wholeheartedly within the scope of your own vision to seek that which sets your Soul on fire. Man or Woman, regardless of the age.   

I find myself today as I type this blog in the midst of a beautiful season, that within the depths of my Daughter. I only know how much she has changed her almost thirteen years and I cannot begin to phathom all the changes ahead. I find myself as these teen years impeed that in one split second I am holding tighter to the reigns yet in the next, loosening them for her to run. All the while keeping  the gentle nudges and sometimes kicks to get her back on track. The path I refer to in this instance is her staying true to who she is and what she is passionate about. She went out for the high school jv tennis team and she does enjoy this sport and she played with such a passion it was seen and felt however she lacked the practiced skills. Alas, she did not make the team however; we decided to stick with it and keep practicing and playing elsewhere and try out again next year if she felt so to do..... only requirement, don't give up. I wanted her to go for golf from the beginning, but I was dismissed quicker than yesterdays news. I circled back around and made the calls and contacts to see if it was still an option to have her play. She fought me like a wild horse that refused to be saddled at first. You see my Daughter enjoys playing but feels it isn't "cool" to play it wasn't that she did not want to play but how others would view her. She is now learning how so incorrect her preceptions and notions were from them.  Knowing my Daughter as I do often over the years of dropping her off at golf practice the entire way there she bellowed of how much she disliked this sport yet every single time when I picked her up she beamed and boasted of how much she loved it. So I explained to her I guard her heart with all I have but I truly felt she had to go for this just to see what comes of it. She is now a part of the JV Girls Golf Team at her upcoming High School.  She is now becoming less skeptical and finding fellow friends who share this interest. She is starting to get that twinkle in her eyes and I am overwhelmed with the Gratitude that Life is full of wonder. 

I dedicate today's  blog to the Life and Memory of my second Daughter, Claire Hope Oct 3-2006 - Nov 28-2006 who eloquently taught me the power of today and living real and authentically. As we go into Thanksgiving this year to Celebrate with our Family and Friends may we permeate the gift of Gratitude in such a fresh and personal way from the depths of our very own Hearts and Soul and serve those around us, celebrating who they are as we all chase our Dreams and Goals that just might too go down in History as the Pilgrims and the Indians. This is The Wonderment of Life.