EUCHARISTEO (THANKSGIVING)

Throwing the ball for my dog to fetch as I lie on the sofa pouring over recipes of days gone by, my mind laden with cold medicine I close my eyes hoping to find relief to my stuffy head and achy body.  I allow my mind to roam as emotions are flowing , I truly believe that everyday should be Thanksgiving and the day itself has never been that poignant for me. Over the years I would volunteer to various places emboding the gift of giving to others from a heartfelt  gratitude of all that I had to be well thankful for but this year with me being sick I was unable to get out there for fear of spreading it to another. My mind recalls Thanksgivings of past as a slideshow of memories engulf me. I recall being a teenager and coming home from Downtown feeding the homeless. The intoxicating aromas lavishly flowed, billowing from the kitchen as I stepped inside of Home. I breathe in now as I close my eyes,  if only I could possibly dare to drink in that moment again, not just of the fragrance but that irreplaceable gift of Home. I believe it was that year or shortly soon after, being the last that Mom was ever able to cook leading our Thanksgiving meal as the Matriarch to our little Family. Perhaps that year was more piercing just coming into what seemed like a palace after being with those who did not have Homes or food as we did. Understanding that we too did not have a lot monitarily as my Mom was left unaided by my Dad to provide for us yet we rarely noticed it in hindsight. I remember how she would have that twinkle in her glorious big green eyes when she dazzled her beautiful smile unveiling those large pearly white teeth when at times she would playfully invite my childhood friend Tracey over for Dinner as we would be having "pretend roast"; it was the cheaper meat but we dined as if it were the finest in the land. What I now know flash forward to today raising my own Daughter it is my rendition of back to the future I realize it is all of these moments of life my Daughter will be remembering on her Thanksgivings looking back. 

This year my Mom said with me being sick let's just pick up our meal and enjoy it so I can rest. Quickly and firmly without any hesitation I dispelled that notion and said the show must go on! I am now about to go to the Grocery to gather our items and I do not believe I have ever been more giddy about cooking and baking just living this moment of Thanksgiving Eve and setting the table for those family members who will join us tomorrow. Looking over the old recipes my Mom's handwriting is engraved on my Soul my eyes  tear up as her penmanship is rather poor these days but what delight I find in admiring these. I asked my Godchild and Daughter the other day what do they want me to make, he is twenty one and rattled off our oldies but goodies, it was truly a gift, realizing these are now part of his heritedge of Thanksgiving and somehow I am part of this and for that I am overwhelmed with Gratitude. Perhaps it is the cold medicine or perhaps I am having an encounter with the true spirit of Gratitude in Thanksgiving this year but I feel stout hearted and solid as in our Pilgrims and Indians in the first Thanksgiving for my heart is full and happily content. I am feeling the Spirit of my Grandmother's who are no longer here alive within my being, catching glimpses of moments with them both in their kitchens back to where they soulfully prepared our meals. You could never eat enough to suffice them they always wanted to serve you more, the more you ate the happier they were! Them in their kitchens was poetry in motion; it was liken to making music it moved you from the earliest of years, I truly believe often times when we follow certain recipes to the detail but something just isn't the same, I believe it was that passion they invoked. Today I realize, I can make a meal, then I can make a meal. Perhaps it is the tenacity within me churning away to muster up the needed stamina to whip this up but there is an awakening in the depths of my Soul and I can tell you it is like I have never encountered. I believe as I have been searching within my own definements I have uncovered so much more. 

As the Indians and the Pilgrims were searching for their new found life let us stop and explore that which we are earnestly seeking that maybe no one may even know but it whispers in the night or it yells over the crowd watching the football game it is imminently there and as that delicious aroma beckoned me from my Mother's kitchen, teasing and tempting my nose it led me by a powerful force an unction to follow. Our First Thanksgiving is a beautiful reminder to dare to Dream and follow after those desires that tell you there is more. We all are on the path to something new and on a quest to follow after our Hearts to come together and regardless of our differences, embracing the things that bind us together from our roots; our Hearts.  

I saw this today and anyone who knows me understands how poetically correct this is of me. I live for fun and depth of meaning and I utterly despise the boring and mondane. The Wonderment of Life is being able to sit; regardless of your choice of meal we have the opportunity to dine as special as our First Thanksgiving Forefathers. May we stop and reflect with Hearts full of Gratitude of all we have and all we are to be. Whether your task is picking up the wine or flowers may you as our Grandmother's soul cooking infused our food with delicious heartfelt ingredients may you exude that to those you share your Thanksgiving with to create an unforgettable memory and if we are lucky it will continue long thereafter the Holiday. The picture at the top of my Daughter and I was her 5 years ago, in second grade on Thanksgiving Eve where she served at our Camellia Ball to the Debutantes where it is framed in my Dining Room and found it timely to share. What awakens within me as this seems like merely yesterday when in essence it was half her life ago. Life is ever changing and we too must move with it but never away from our Hearts as the very thing that we are implored by Shakesphere "To thine own Self (Heart) be True." Happy Thanksgiving xo