Thursday, September 6, 2018

RIDE LIKE THE WIND

Patting my hands together to not only applaud myself perhaps but to loosen the dirt and grime off as I placed the final chair of my outdoor dining table and chairs back to their rightful spot. For two and a half days while we were under a Hurricane Watch and Warning, I have looked out my enormous window and saw the vast empty spot where that dining table has sat for the past one month shy of eleven years. I stand and admire it as if it just arrived. I slowly nod my head while my hands go to my hips and I let out a Satisfied "Hmmm" that spoke as if I had said a mouthful. As if rehearsed a million times I was overcome with so much gratitude and joy my smile was super sized with pleasure and without unction I found myself twirling, singing and dancing to the soulful tune I had playing by Brenton Wood from the year I was born 1967, "Baby you got it." And just like that something clicked deep within my being as if it jolted my body oddly as if it was a hushed whisper. This is us with our Dreams and Goals. Or it should be. The song starts out, "I run after you like a fool would do. But Mama didn't raise no fool and I should know that baby you got it.." The lyrics go on to say "You got soul, too much soul...there's nothing fake about you, now that I found you gonna cling to you." As I have written many times prior I have a beloved book that resides on display in my kitchen that is titled "An affair with a House" I have always said this is me. Now I realize I have grown up and matured and now it is an accurate depiction that it should state "An Affair with Life." For it isn't just merely this house I was this way when I lived in an apartment. Even then,  I took it to the next level adding color to the walls and closing in others making it uniquely mine.  It blows my mind when I think of all the things that drive me with passion so thick and rich it outdoes the most lavish caramel. And really always has like it was spun and woven into my DNA. While we were tucked away inside my Home waiting out the weather, I was left blown away within my Soul. Like the gusts of wind and thundering rain pouring down, it was as if I was like Dorothy and our Home was blown to another place. It was late in the night and I was doing foot patrol checking on those within my Home and I went and sat outside on my front porch swing. It was as if I took my seat within the classroom of Life and Mother Nature was starting her oration. As if a projector was playing a home movie I saw myself at around eleven years old and I was baking cookies. I remember it like it was yesterday. Happy and joyful at the delicious aromas that filled my Home and there was music playing from the records that I had spinning as I was filled with glee as I laid on our sofa with thoughts of my Great Grandmother who passed while she laid down for a short spell while baking a cake. Something about that story pierced my soul at my young age of hearing this.  I knew that is how I would love to go. Reality really for me or anyone else; do that which drives your being and satisfies you. 


I have been blessed beyond measure. As the Bible states, "Good Measure, Pressed Down, Shaken together, Running over" truly wouldn't begin to describe it. I have been gifted with the passion for life by experiencing the opposite perhaps. Odd but true. But then again, anyone who knows me knows that is how I roll. Being given the tall task of caregiver at such a young age as I was to my hero, my Mom to then on the other spectrum losing my youngest Daughter at 56 days old but being able to be right there holding her to sear her last moments to my heart forever. Then there was both of our Dogs that were my "boys" that lived twelve and thirteen years. Both passed in my arms and in the way they loved the most. Tears flooded my face more than the rain falling. But these were not tears to make me sad as I had thought before, moreover, the beautiful awareness of the gift of Life itself. My Life. My Story. Every single ounce of it was mine and somehow being used to fuel me with such a newfound tenacity to propel me to reach further to be more and do more....well; dreaming. To work harder and raise my standard High. As I type the hymn "This is MY Story, this is my song" is sung within my Soul and I think of the Host of Heaven and how that Heavenly choir undoubtably understands and tries to impart into us all. The Testaments to unanswered prayers and to keep the faith and never lose hope that there is always more.  And then there are the harder life moments that are and were not so seemingly gracious. The lesson that was taught to me during this storm named Gordon has left with me quite a few homework assignments to study and prepare for. When I wiped my eyes and I looked again at the mirage of this presentation, I saw My Mother who laid sleeping in my room in my bed. I then saw my Daughter and her two friends snuggled on the sofa along with myself sprawled out on the floor, our Cat and Dog who all fell asleep watching a movie earlier together. I realized just why I am her Daughter and the other one's Mother. I realized if I wouldn't have had all of this Passion for my Home and Life, my Mom's story would be different. I realized my Daughter's story would be different. Perhaps there is more to all that cooking I spent the evening in the kitchen preparing and dessert that had them  snapping pics as they giggled on the floor having their carpet picnic. Perhaps what I thought was me being a pyromaniac there is more by candles lit all throughout our Home besides filling it with delicious aromas blended together to create a unique fragrance. With assuredness I realize the mood lightening that was full on tap as they were sipping non alcoholic sparkling apple juice through candied twizzler straws making bracelets and riding out the storm helped cause it to be  a memorable way together. Enthralled as I was reading posts from others as they chose to spend their time of weather watching. Inspired by some and heavy hearted for those that like me last storm who were not as fortunate and had left me full of worry and nervousness because you understand the severity that Life metaphorically or in realness could bring to you in a flash of lightening, the drops of rain or wind that blew.



I started out to write about construction thus I will be able instead to conclude on those thoughts. My outer backyard is a golf course and has been under construction for months. Grueling months at times. Less than pleasant moments at times for months. Interruptions and disappointing views and moments to say the least...yes... for months. Alas, as if with the flip of a switch it is becoming finished as we are on our last months of completion. Oddly those negative moments are already as a distant memory for now, we can behold and almost obtain the prize of the completion of this Dream course. We have complained, felt frustrated and resisted these changes to say the least at times. "Why it wasn't  good enough the way it was" has been the unanimous quip. Mother Nature reprimanded me as in the Chiffon Margarine commercial. When chasing out our Dreams and Goals in Life we all have our own blueprints and Story. Often times we become disgruntled and want to quit when we are amidst the chaos life can bring and choose to settle. Worse of all we can lose ourselves and who we are destined to be. My mind goes to my recent vacation with my Daughter and our biking excursions. One that makes me belly laugh is one morning we woke up and were on our bikes at six am. We had it all planned out beautifully. We rode and rode and stopped to make reservations for us to go by bike to the next town and do a water yoga board class. We were on the trails and were mesmerized by the most amazing rainbow. My Daughter yelled back to me to look and to stop and lets take pictures. So we did. Felt like a great Mom moment and I was acing this, flying high and feeling incredibly optimistic about Life itself. As we smiled for our selfies all of a sudden my Daughters eyes were wide as saucers and the look her face needed no words to be uttered. As if the slowest motion imaginable my head made it's way reluctantly to turn to access her findings. What seemed like hours later I discovered the deepest shade of black I have ever seen. As if an artist forgot to blend it was the harshest line imaginable. As if an ant bed had been kicked over were liken to the thoughts that overtook my mind and emotions. Here only seconds before we were giggling, smiling ear to ear with the selfies making grand plans only to be instantly squashed out like a fly with a swat. My Mom Moment of a one hundred just nosedived to a zero. There before us were two choices. Life had just happened. It was contrary to our plans and goals for the day. Our dream day seemed as if it was cancelled. And we had not even had breakfast for the sun had merely begun to wake up. Go ahead and put out the yellow cones, we were under construction. We nervously decided to go back home and try to out ride this oncoming storm. Needless to say our feet were peddling just as fast as they could go but alas the storm was determined to crash our party. Ironically, it did not shut us down. I am certain we awoken neighbors while others laughed and waved as we were filled with laughter while squealing our way with squinted eyes from the falling rain so hard. We flew off our bikes as we dashed into the garage both filled with amazement as my Daughter pulled out her camera to capture this moment. There stood my love wonder erupting with laughter and joy so contagious whereas earlier she was my grumpy teenager where I had the audacity to awaken her before noon; much less before the sun. What could have been one of our lowest points of our Vacations will go down as one of our funnest, glorious full of robust memorable moments. This is the Glorious Wonderment of Life. xo

As we all write our Stories may we first of all take ownership that they are ours. Fully free to be open and share our Chapters in order to gain the confidence from one another to ride out the storms that Life will positively bring. May we inspire one another from our own Life lessons to be patient within those times of construction. Most of all, to be fully present, I mean go all in with Life as in gambling, in order to bask in the joy to be ourselves as we chase down our Dreams; writing our unique versions of our own Affairs with Life. 




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