EYES WIDE SHUT

Strolling down the cobblestone path I was alone and able to pace myself to my own liking. I felt free. Something I had not known in quite some time. Liken to the feeling when you are able to stretch out and not be restricted. Rather you feel a burst of life within your being; like that first stretch of the day when you wake up. I was gifted a while back with the opportunity to get lost in a new city. I will remember this day forever. If I go back a million times I think this city would speak differently to me. I am different. However, the tone has been set and any other visit would build upon this moment. The air was flirty and silly. It brought out the child in me. It dared me to dream. I browsed through a book store as I turned the pages, the words seemingly came to life. As if the characters were speaking to me. Between the spark in my eyes and the smirk on my face I felt alive. I went in and out of shops visiting and gleaning from every stop. Purchasing mementos to share and those to keep. One of my favorites were some egg cups that I admire daily in my kitchen as they remind me of that moment. That Moment was reigniting my very own Love Affair with Life. Knowingly my Life was about to change, drastically. As I sat in a quaint rustic coffee house; a group of men came in. I could not understand their words. However, it was the most beautiful conversation. It stirred my being and awakened my Soul. They stood around the counter as they waited for the barista to bring their espresso shots. There was laughter and their words danced as they fell off their tongues. I was enamored. Fascinated. As soon as they took their shot they continued on their way as merriment was leading the way. I instantly felt sad. This place that moments ago was so ever enchanting was now blasé. I looked around at the other tables. Conversations were in full swing but it was different. I wanted that zip and zest. I desired that enthralling air that tickled the hairs on my arms and gave me goosebumps. I wanted that moment back. I gathered my belongings and ventured onward in quest of another magical moment. I met a charming shop owner. I shopped and we chatted and made friends. I stumbled upon a linen shop. The broken dialect was cute and comical as we tried to communicate. To this day, every single time I tie the linen formal jacket on my bottle of wine to serve my friends; I feel that moment rush through my veins. All of it like a rapid slideshow of that day as I was lost in a beloved city. I allow it to perpetuate, to go before me assured we will meet to reconnect again. 

As I am writing a book not surprising on romance, it trickles over here to our Dreams and love affair with life. Our moments are filled with the mundane for certain. However, it is those golden seconds that surprise you and leave you breathless. Enslaved to the quest of life being more than meets the eye. I think of a job I held. When I first worked there, it was magical. I had a partner in crime. The way these cubicles were designed, we were together. Sort of. We were in the dark corner. However, we never wanted to leave our space. In fact, everyone would come fraternize with us back in our little dark corner. We had candy and snacks we giggled and chatted while hustling like crazy entering orders. It was like the party place. But then one day we were promoted. We were moved away from one another. I now was front and center in the bright light in my cube. Ironically,I began to wither. The job promotion and higher pay was embraced. But the true happiness and satisfaction was before, in that little corner.  I remember being in my new position and a sweet friend would surprise me as he walked by on the outside of my confines and catch a stress ball I had thrown up. As I smiled popping my head out it was as if injected with a surge of joy. My heart then and there instantly took me back if even for a moment, to that corner.  Life is all in how you look at it. Some might have thought a drab, dark corner; alas,  We knew otherwise. It must be said. That promotion and yes, even the portion of me withering and not being successful; was only preparing me for my next moment and job. Perhaps if the situations weren't as they were I wouldn't have ever left. 

As I am typing this blog, my yardman is trimming my trees in the front of my House. He is sharpening the edges to bring back the crispness. I was alarmed when I saw how much he cut off. I flew out the door in one quick motion. I was displeased in every way. We both stood there speechless but undoubtably conversing. We both felt horrible. His defensiveness was in full throttle and I was heartbroken that he didn't talk to me first.  I finally broke the silence attesting that he must continue on and make them all this way. During the time he was pruning back and cutting away I was snapping pictures and videos. If ever I miss my trees I will be able to remember them and enjoy their height and beauty, I thought. By the time he finished I walked outside shouting out my affirmations of my delight. In a flash, the reminiscent moments of days gone by, enveloped my being. The other day my daughter dropped a box of matches. They were the long kind. As we knelt down to pick them up I stopped and said this is like pick up sticks! When you first drop these onto the ground, there is no order and they seem a mess. Kind of liken to life sometimes. Furthermore, your goal is to get to that very last one on the bottom. However, as life is you have to start at the beginning. Carefully you push down on one end of the stick, holding your breath not to move another one as you try to remove it. Whoever has the most sticks at the end of the game wins. Remember that moment? The adrenaline rushes as you hurriedly count hoping you had the most. The same can be said of our moments. In high school for homeroom I sat in the front row and my classmates would gather. I recounted my moments filled with antics from the previous day or weekend. I always had colorful tales. I remember us giggling and laughing. It made others share too. The truth is, not all were that outstanding of moments. However, it was my perception and appreciation that gave them life. It was my Passion to live heart wide open unafraid to be alive and present. I vividly remember me being the bratty younger sister that was simply a clown. I still am.  I got in a perfume and powder fight with my older sister. There was powder everywhere. All over us, all down the hallway and I will never forget my Mom's displeasure! But what makes me smile the most is that feeling that moment branded on me. Standing there holding my canister of baby powder while My Mom got on to us. It was dripping off of me and my sister was covered. Delightfully, it was worth it. The satisfaction of yet again winning against my elder sister because she just stunk up the place with all of her perfume she sprayed at me. Yet proudly, I left my mark! The Wonderment of Life is that we are grateful to value our moments. All of our moments. Being grateful that even the ones we find unpleasant are spring boarding us to who and where we need to be. Embracing the here and now and going all in with all the gusto we can muster to get lost in this moment in time. To be fully present. If we truly understand that every single moment builds upon the other we would be celebrating more, having more fun in the here and now. Like me and my gal pal in the dark corner. We were driven to be promoted. However, we enjoyed and gave it our all while timing worked it's magic. Those are some of my fondest memories while working there. What if I had been only giving it a dabble while being negative because it wasn't what I wanted or where I wanted to be?? Even more fascinating, looking back over my life. What if I had made different choices. Where would I be now? Starstruck at how life outshines our mere perceptions. The Wonderment of Life is  unleashing your passion to create moments that will be memorable. Most of all, leave your mark.  This is the Wonderment of Life. xo
                                     

THE ADVENTURES OF CAMMIE + MAMMIE

 

"Timing is Everything. When you're really ready for it, it will come." This Year has been one of the most fascinating I can recall. It is as if I am on stage with an illusionist. There I am lying on a table that he keeps taking away one section at a time. I gasp as the realization occurs that I am suspended in mid air. How often in life this sensation occurs. However, there is always a lot happening I do not see. As I lie there, I can look down and see behind me. I also see there is no seen support holding me because I have ventured onwards. As I open my eyes, I am looking ahead. I notice I am facing what is in front of me. Me suspended in the air is my current position.  This is precisely the best analogy I can give for this past year. My Daughter just Graduated Eighth Grade. She is now off to High School. Ready to make her glory days something worthy to look back on for many years. The thing is, I am ready too. Really Ready. Or am I?  I have come to realize that the process of preparing for readiness is essential. Defined, it is  the state of being fully prepared for something. It was at my Daughter's talent show it hit me. She was different. I looked around at her fellow classmates. They were different too! Within an instant tears were steadily flowing down my face. How does Life like Mother Nature instinctually know? Of course I had the timetable. This allowed me to take my hands off the wheel to try to ready her in many instances. Great awareness as we venture out to take on the world in our own lives. Life never ceases to amaze me and leave me breathless. Moreover, it has quickened within me a greater confidence as I set out to tackle those Dreams and Goals. My Home is always mindful of Celebrating the ordinary moments. However, this has perfected my vision as I see clearer on the impeccable gift of Timing. I breathe in deeply, eyes closed as if I am in the midst of yoga. Centering myself as I allow this gift to permeate my being. As I breathe out it is transforming my behaviors. Granting me patience, accepting the process while respecting the power of timing. 


I set out to purchase a camper three years ago. Last month I was apparently really ready. There I am again, suspended in the middle. I stepped out there and followed that Dream. Now what?! Aha, the readying process, by George I think I got it. I am learning how to hook it up and drive our beloved pop up. When they were teaching us how to set up camp once we arrived my Daughter broke out in laughter. Full on belly laughter. She said this is going to be an adventure alright! I stopped and looked at her as her words were registering, and I too was filled with laughter. She quickly became very serious and said, "Mom, really this is going to be the best times ever. I am so excited!" We have been sitting together pecking away at our keyboards on Pinterest at pop up camper remodels. This pop up is in pristine condition, we just want to make it our own. I realize that perhaps she was what we were waiting on to be ready. She is the driving force and last night as we were working on our makeover she named it. Alas the title of this blog. I as I have mentioned I am known as Mammy and we have nicknamed her as Cammie. Uncertain if I will change my spelling to match hers yet but she wants to paint it on the outside along with our handprints. Furthermore, I realize the asset she will be in the much needed help and three years ago would have been rather daunting. I have always told her she can be anything she wants to be and do anything she wants to do. It reinforces when I show her. Furthermore, this camper has two king beds and a table and chairs that makes into another bed. This is bigger than any others I had looked at and considerably cheaper.  I could go on and on about this adventure but I will save that for another time. As we have been charting out the places we will go, the best part thus far occurred. Timing was showing off in great measure. I have always celebrated my second Daughter's passing date instead of her birthdate. This year it falls on none other than Thanksgiving. We are going back to where we went to get away, as soon as she passed what will be thirteen years ago. My love affair with Life is full of Wonderment. 


Leon Bridges is playing on my bluetooth out on my patio. My favorite song is on "Beyond." As I type I look over my laptop.  I have the beautiful view of my Daughter and her friend. They are slouched and snuggled. Giggling watching videos of them on the slip  and slide on Memorial Day with their friends. The breeze is now gusts as we drink in the sweet summertime vibes. As the wind blows I am transformed. I sit idle to allow my heart to speak to my mind as to converse with me. I feel as free as these birds I watch that take flight. Spellbound as they fly high and beautifully loop about. I release my soul to fly and dare myself to Dream. I now sit in my yard  and swing on my daughters pink disc. Leaning back upon the ropes it hangs from, I call out to my inner child. The breeze moves me about and the intense fragrance from my favorite flower on my Gardenia bush is bewitching and hypnotic.  My hydrangeas entice  me to pick them to beautify my surrounds inside. I am spellbound with the amount of bluebirds that now reside within my yard. The tree in which I swing from has a red headed woodpecker feeding her babies. They sing a melody only God could orchestrate. Alas, Mother Nature  was indeed at work.  I embrace the infallible timing of Life. 

We are now into Summer full swing. We are busy with cheer every morning and golf almost every afternoon. My Daughter starts next week being a candy striper at the same place I did mine at her age. My Home is filled with excitement as we have three girls that just graduated High School to come stay with us this month for a couple of weeks. We are a Host Family for a local organization called Distinguished Young Women in which they will be competing and we haven't participated in many years. Ten years to be exact.  I share with my Daughter the honor we have to be able to be a part of such an important time in their lives.  Timing here is what is gracing my table as the most enchanting centerpiece. My Daughter has not embraced the importance of her studies nor fully understood how they will follow as well as shape her future. These three girls, a gift like none other will inspire her like I never could . Timing knew I needed this phenomenal gift to help nudge my Daughter just right when she needed it most. I have to smile and as I do; a bit of laughter erupts. Life just took my breath away again. This is The Wonderment of Life. xo

                                         Field Day this year she wore her high school colors

                          8th GradeGraduation Day                            Talent Show

Summertime before High School

PLAY IT AGAIN SAM

Letting out a sigh as I shudder from the coolness this morning air brings. Snuggling just a little bit more under the blanket as the weightiness brings comfort. My head falls back onto the chair, the excitement churns within as if percolating through my veins and spreading throughout my entire being. I am buckling up perhaps for takeoff into the great adventure to the unknown. This Majestic Morning speaks to my Heart; wooing me of it's splendor as I drink in this unparalleled beauty. The sky so clear and breathtakingly blue. As if the Sun is shining with higher wattage than normal. It's intensity speaks to the depths of my Soul as I bask in all it's bewitching marvels. Sharp, crisp, distinct lines as if an artist painting this indescribable view. The oil so rich and thick it projects off of the canvas giving depth to this decadent Spring Morning. This morning is liken to what you Dream of in the bitter moments of Winter. Undeniable that Spring has Sprung within my boarders and bewitchingly amidst my Soul. As if all of Nature is harkening. Silently wooing with whispers so hushed as I hear the wind blow through and rustle the leaves upon the trees both near and far. I sense a call to throw open wide my Heart with reckless abandonment. The choir of birds that sing in harmonious musical scales sing out the most mesmerizing ballad. Resounding that not only Morning has broken; but I have been awaken. 

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing
Praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world. 

Ironically enough; just night before last we had a large and billowing storm come through. We had anticipated it for most of the day, but it didn't arrive until the wee hours of the morning. I was awoken  with frightful clamoring. Piercing thunder that alarmed and quaked my being. Fear set in as I worried about all the things that meant so much to me. I thought of my Momma as she was at her Home. Praying she was somehow able to sleep through this. I prayed for my Daughter as she was with her Dad and his Family. I was missing her tremendously; but knew she was being comforted. I grew anxious and uptight for the water oaks that live within my yard. Worrying all the rain and clamor would find another tree to fall. Overtaken by nervousness about the path it might take if it did. I kept looking out the window checking on my precious bluebird family with babies that had just hatched that lives in a house outside my bedroom. I grabbed my goulashes and raincoat in case the birdhouse leaned over from the rain I would dash out to straighten it. Right then and there in the midst of the overwhelming fear that raged, I realized that besides all the elements that scared me, nothing was actually wrong. I had allowed my thoughts to be enslaved to all the thunderous booms and lightening that crackled in the sky. As if breaking these chains that tried to constrain me I realized the importance of what we build our "Houses" on. House here is our Lives, our Hope and Dreams; our very essence to our being. 


Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass


Recently, I saw a post and it was of our heartbeats on a monitor. Showing how it peaked real high to only dip real low and repeating itself continuously. It stated, the only time our heartbeats will stay even keel is at our death. When we no longer have a heartbeat. This beautifully describes mere life itself. Often times we want it perfect mountain top to mountain top circumstances. However, the real growth and life happens when we drop deep into the valley. As if inspection is in full swing on our walls and most importantly our foundation. This is where we are being renovated. A reconstructive phase where Life is building back and reinforcing our walls that had seemingly faltered. Areas perhaps that had become stagnant or hopelessness came in like a flood. Just like planting our seeds in our garden. The growth is not seen as it is internal or structural; its the roots strengthening. Deep and deeper still they go.  Then comes the appropriate timing of blooming. Life is measured by timing. Often times we think there is no essence to life underground because we cannot see it. Think of the fortitude of strength that it takes for the glorious flowers to erupt through the ground. Something to think about next time you arrange those delicate beauties in a vase. I constantly tell my Daughter she is delicate like a rose. I love the quote, "A thorn defends the rose harming only those who would steal the blossom." Another one that comes to mind, "But he who dares not grasp the thorn , should never crave the rose." She is one of my Dreams come true in every sense of the word. I had planned for quite sometime a date for us to watch the Masters together as we have traditionally done the past few years. The whole shabang. Homemade Masters egg salad, pimento cheese and the iconic Sara Lee Pound Cake. She being the typical Teenager chose to blow me off and do something that seemed to entice her more. I had to reroute and thwart her plans in order to remind her to look around and bask in the essence of who and what we most assuredly are.  I made her sit alone upstairs for a spell. To reflect upon her actions and to understand the importance of Family. Explaining that this was the strongest portion of her Life only coming second to her Faith. It wound up being more memorable than I imagined. From cackling over outfits, to dreamy comments on golfers to yelling and rewinding strokes gasping "did you see that?!" As her Mother, I knew she needed this. To strengthen her passion for a game that helps define her.  This viable force invokes cheering one another on as warriors for we fight for one another and defend against the storms that try to weaken our walls. Independently as well as collectively. 

Mine is the Sunlight
Mine is the Morning
Born of the one light Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day

I have been enjoying these lyrics to Cats Stevens Morning Has Broken since the Spring arrived. It is astounding to see the bursts of life that had been lying dormant. It is afternoon now as I sit in the warm sun and get back to writing. The soft wind blows through my hair. The cool breeze dancing as if to the percussion as the most precise conductor leads an orchestra. The birds still singing melodies as if ballads or the greatest love song ever sung. They sound so happy as I have bell trained my bluebirds and respectfully even the squirrels and other birds are taking note. My adventures with these Bluebirds are an enchanting story all their own. One day I shall put into words the emotion. The delightful tunes transcend my mind piercing my  heart as if branding this moment. Delightfully subduing the Wonderment with my love affair with Life. As I laid in my Yard, these words came to me and I quickly spoke them into my phone to save. It was as if the depths of my Soul was calling out;

Sing me a song, one just for me
Unleash that melody that unlocks my soul to run free.
Spin me around again and again
Filling my heart with glee
As the wind takes my hand I release all fear
Intoxicated and breathless my heart is so full 
satisfied with the very things I hold so dear. 


 Standing up I brush the grass off of me as I have been laying belly down in my yard, face to face with a turtle. Curiously snapping pictures and allowing Mother Nature to move me to depths that satisfy my longing Soul. As if each new morning gently rouses me to awaken. Inviting me to drink in it's mystifying beauty. I live to be amazed and find such satisfaction within the most common of things. Transforming the mundane into miraculous that simply blow you away and take your breath in an instant.  Measuring our days each evening; while beholding a blanket of stars that only God could illuminate. These are the defining moments where you know you were made for this. Life is the greatest Love Story; and we have been cast the leading role. You have all the elements for yours to be a Blockbuster. This is the Wonderment of Life. xo

THE ILLUSION OF LIMITS

Sitting on my back door stoop overlooking my infamous tree. I posted about my favorite tree that peaks that one time a year blooming it's most vibrant shades of leaves. Before I knew it, I was upstairs when the glorious movement of what appeared to be a lustrous snow falling were my beautiful leaves dancing in the wind. The poem instantly came to mind as I opened up my window and captured this unforgettable phenomenon on video. It was breathtaking, awe inspiring. Without unction the words to the well learned poem was dancing on my tongue and gracefully billowing from my lips. 

I think that I shall never see   

A poem lovely as a tree.   

   

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest   

Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;   

   

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;   

   

A tree that may in summer wear   

A nest of robins in her hair;   

   

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;   

Who intimately lives with rain. 

   

Poems are made by fools like me,   

But only God can make a tree. 

-Joyce Kilmer written in 1913 memorized by me at My Daughter's age now, and my love affair with poetry begun. I think what I find so enchanting about Literature and Poetry is in these days of old Families would gather together and read for entertainment and enjoyment. It is magical how you take a Tree, something there are millions of all over. Various sizes and shapes they are Everywhere overlooked and almost mundane yet the taking of the time to see one it becomes extraordinaire. I am in the midst of writing a love story just on this here topic. One of the greatest things in Life is to be Seen. For many of us waiting out the Epiphany we are still beholding our beautifully dressed and decorated trees from Christmas. 

Shaking my head basking in the allurement of Life itself. I have been moved with wonder this New Year at so many posts. I feel as if there is a subtle continuity being shared. The declared words whatever they may be I feel as if they energize my Soul. I sense an openness; a dare to bare challenge being proclaimed. For that I swing wide the door to my Heart as I inhale the freshness this invigorating air provides. A coming together in a fortified union of gratitude. Heralding of the blessings and even the lessons this past year has taught. A grounded expectancy as in the latter term of pregnancy of the unfolding year arriving. Given birth by a mere moment in time of Midnight when the hand strikes and the entire world is counting down. Excitement unleashed with shouts of joy and merriment. That illustrious kiss in this moment you have yearned for since childhood and pined for all year long. In that mere minute of time magically we bid our fondest adieu's and sing Auld Lang Syne as we intertwine our arms with others around us. Whereas moments prior were mere strangers perhaps yet now are part of your Memory forevermore. Eager shouts of blowers and horns to Celebrate and open wide our doors to what Life is gifting to us all. We stand steady footed and at attention ready. Respectful of the lessons and blessings that lie in waits for us. You see the imagery here between this, that beloved Tree, and Life. 

I savored and immersed myself in my moments with my tree when it began to bloom. So I was able to celebrate when these leaves began to break away and fall. Moreover, the intensity grew immeasurably of the excitement to watch for the new buds to burst forth. Beautiful depiction with the Old Year vs. The New Year. We laid in our yard amongst the tree and we just reveled in those leaves. We threw the leaves at one another, we giggled, belly laughed and Celebrated all that life had allowed us to see. While laying there onlooking our beloved tree we marveled at our other favorite planted right beside it. Our cherished Two Dogs are buried under this here other tree, it was their favorite spot to dash out when the door was opened up for them. All in hopes to catch a squirrel but they were able to see that there was always movement and gatherings under this ordinary tree. Oddly enough our newest member of the Family, our dog mimics their same enthusiasm to this marked spot. Coincidence? Absolutely not in my world. I call out that it is as these leaves, these two Dogs passing literally broke my heart. However, when we dare to bare and embrace even in our hardships, grief and fear, we are able to see the Beauty of Life Full Circle. 

I went over to this "other" tree, looking over where a limb was cut earlier today that had been struck by Lightning. The marks of black and charred wood surround where the missing limb once resided. We only view Lightning striking as a negative as with my here tree. However, there is a positive charge that occurs in fact when struck. I was watching one of my favorite movies Meet Joe Black oddly enough on New Year's Day. There is one of the scenes that got me vibing the theory on Lightning Striking. May we Open wide our Hearts and Souls in order to allow ourselves to Love Life itself as he describes. Perfect time of Year to emit this Passion after being bolted and charged to live with such tenacity this Year as we unfold the latest chapter in our Love Affair with Life.  

2018 taught me to roar like a lioness at the hardships and to yield a teachableness instead of rolling over to moan and groan. 2018 has empowered me with strength, to be fearless for what my Heart Dreams. To be militant with my Goals and Dreams and to be even more bold and unapologetic about what I desire. Christmas Magic delved deeper this year whereas I will forever be changed. I remembered what was important and held looser to my tasks at hand and made time for the little things that looking back were the big like, strolling through the picturesque Gardens that were adorned with Lights that left you marveled with no words. My decorations have left me overwhelmed with delight that I still am enjoying. I pushed back a Christmas Party with My Service Group of Girls, to Highlight a service outreach instead in December, and now will Celebrate this New Year instead with a party on The Epiphany. Life is full of possibilities and my chosen word for this New Year is Limitless. Allow me to restate that sentence. 2019 is full of LIMITLESS Possibilities for us ALL. With a Heart so full it might burst, Happiest of New Year's for This is The Wonderment Of Life. xo   

UNDER DRESSED

My eyes still puffy from watching the Memorial Service of  our Beloved 41st President yesterday. Then there was more Today.  One of the things that was quoted of him saying is "How we live is as important as what we achieve." I am coming to my final month of my #90dayschallenge and I find these two things to pair well together to complement and bring out the underlying depth of the statement. To find ten things daily that I am grateful for has been life changing to say the least. I have always tried to live a life of Gratitude but this has just been the next level. It has transformed and repurposed the way I live my life. What is so intoxicating is the fact that I am leaving this year on a high pinnacle grounded and sure footed. For that I am utterly grateful as if Christmas has come early. Often times in Life we are simply a Tumbleweed as we chase after our Dreams. I liken this to me playing one of my Dog's favorite games, Go hide and seek. I get to belly laughing when I give him a good "scare" and then there are those times that I just stump him. Yesterday was one of those days. 
 I tucked myself into a little ball and hid beside the bar. I had excellent vantage point of seeing him. Hearing his loud footsteps and heavy breathing I could hear myself breathing loudly as well as the adrenaline was pumping and my heart was pounding. Containing the giggles was a feat. He would run this way and that way. However, Oddly, he never strayed too far. He went up the first few stairs and just stopped. Somehow  he decided I was not up there. It struck my soul when it occurred to me how he was right there. Only the length of my body  was he  away from me. It was liken to Home Base when playing tag. Somehow his instincts felt safe right there in that midst of the imaginary base. But he had no clue he was right on me. I was assured when I finally popped out like a jack in the box. What inspired me is he sensed I was right there, he just could not see me. I liken that to Us and our Dreams. 

Last Night I vowed I would walk out and close that attic door behind me to not return until the New Year to put away. Alas, there I was in my long vintage night gown and bed coat. I was squatted down in the middle of it all just letting these decorations just woo me.  I felt like I was as glamorous as the days of old. I had a darling cup and saucer full of deliciousness. Aromatic and bountiful with spices of Cider. I sauntered around my Home as I sipped. I would stop and visit each room as if starting a conversation unleashing my soul opening it so wide to listen. To be moved and inspired; intoxicated with Wonder. There was music bellowing from every room. I sipped and sauntered into my Dining Room. Hmmm.  I felt I needed something from within to be set free. I was like my Dog, I could sense it I just could not see it. In fact when I looked down I was standing in the exact place he would stop to redirect himself. It was the very Heart of my Home. It's most center point.  I was breathless for a moment from the awe of this revelation. Finally,  I took a deep breath inhaling the luxurious fragrances only this Season bestows. Before I knew it I had my gown in one hand holding it out and I danced as if attending a ball and I were the Queen. I got giddy and lost in the melody, the Christmas crooning of the Rat Pack. Twirling and my arm that was free moved with precision. It was as if the Ladies of days gone by who wore this gown and bedcoat were speaking to my very Heart and Soul. Reminding me of how especially back then it was crucial and as important for their underwear to be as pretty as their outerwear. We are no longer talking fashion now are we? I adore what I call, Cyber Christmas Cards. Seeing all the posts of people sharing their trees, their Homes, their stories. Sharing the specialness and the stories their trees and memories that hang from them tell. I saw the posts where the Lady that is in charge of the White House pinned millions of red berries on these Larger than life styrofoam cones. It was brilliant and behooving. I cannot imagine what must over come you to be in the presence of such Beauty. But what I found illuminating was the Woman behind it all, her Vision and her Inspiration. Going back to that quote, what she achieved all on it's own is spellbounding. However, I commented I would only desire to glean from her. How she lived this out was the real showstopper. It was the Passion of her Dream brought to life. I am moved with Wonder.


Today as I again proclaim This is the Day I will be completed with Decorating; I am in my workout clothes. I am pumping up the volume to ten to one of my favorite songs, Social House and Lil Yachty's  "Magic in the Hamptons" and I am having an utter ball. I am busting some gangsta moves while decking my halls.  I am the Mother of Christmas Magic. Whether in the Hamptons or most of all in my Home. This Christmas is unlike any other I have ever experienced in my entire life. The greatest gift I have received early is Conscious Daily Gratitude. Purposefully looking for ten or more things I am grateful for and then reviewing at the end of the day. When looking through a grateful heart so rich and decadent you just cannot stop the joy or love of life from oozing out and overflowing. It changes the perception of Life itself.  It is the wondrous moral behind the Whooville's I have written about this  in the past. There was something underneath their Celebrations of Christmas that was more real inside of themselves than to what was outside and tangible. Furthermore, it spread that Christmas Magic to transform the Grinch. Get lost in your sense of wonder in such a way like for me;  my Daughter will say, "One more time, Mom?" 


Ironically enough a friend posted something that went so hand in hand with what I was writing. It went something like this; You are holding a cup of coffee when someone comes along and bumps into you. This causes you to spill your coffee. Why did you spill the coffee? "Well because someone bumped into me of course!" Wrong answer. You spilled the coffee because there was coffee in your cup. Had there been tea inside the cup you would have spilled tea. "Whatever is inside your cup, is what will spill out." Therefore, when life comes along and shakes you (which will happen), whatever is inside you will come out. It's easy to fake it until you get rattled. "So we have to ask ourselves....what's in my cup?" When life gets tough, what spills over? Joy, GRATEFULNESS, peace and humility? The Wonderment of Life is your Home Base, which is your Heart and following after it with such reckless tenacity.  This year try trimming your tree and decking your halls from the inside/out instead of the outside/in and just see the effects it will have not only on yourself but to everyone who crosses over your threshold.  xo

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYES OF THE BEHOLDER

I stood before my Keurig machine smiling as I closed the lid hearing the opening of my much anticipated Chai Latte pod. As the aroma entertained my senses I gazed out the window as my thoughts like a little child had been taken by the hand to roam freely on the playground. As the steam floated through the air from the coffee maker I was captivated how effortlessly it entertained and delighted me. Graceful as a dancer that it swirled and twirled right in time with the percussion of the rain falling upon the roof and within mere seconds it had vanished. Here I sat within one of my favorite rooms of my Home. I am always moved when I have spent time within these small boarders. The room is the size of a larger closet but it is filled with something so real and tangible, I feel it embraces me.  I lean in and inhale the steam closing my eyes as I envision I am buckling in to a fair attraction ride excited to see where this ride takes me. 

Minutes later I find myself enthralled embracing this bewitching cup that is filled with a delicious wonder. I now sit in an adjoining room that is yet another favorite. It was my Daughter's playroom and now is her big girl hangout room. Normally my Home is billowing with music from any and all directions. Here lately, I find myself jiving to the jam session within. The rain is playing it's own melody upon the roof of this room and against the window as I look out and Dream. It is rather dreary really. No sun shining to speak of as if it called in Sick today. However because we have been weather watching, I know that this is here to usher in the Fall-esque cooler and frigid temperatures that will follow in the days to come.  I look at that daunting list of things to do today and quickly look away. Without a word spoken the struggle was intense. I look around this beloved room and smile at the candles lit and the aura it bestows. As if I have taken my seat and these walls are speaking to my very Soul. They remind me of  evenings before. My Daughter and I had fell to the perils of the time change. Both of us were out like a light by eight thirty. I prepared a nice big meal as usual but to keep in tune with the melody within, I put our dinner on the road and traveled upstairs to her instead. There  I was, lying on the floor of her dressing room. Hands cupped under my chin laying on my belly with my legs crossed and feet in the air. Captivated, watching her repeatedly try on various dresses for an upcoming event for the next evening. Her words were more delicious than the food that sat before me. Watching her in front of her full length mirror she taught me with every word and thought. She was teaching me of who she was and moreover who she is becoming. Moments earlier she was cross and cranky. Now she was seemingly transformed. What fills my being with wonderment is the poignant point of what ideally really changed? 

Perhaps the transformation was not just in her demeanor, moreover, it was from the inside being set free, unleashed. For I had seen my Daughter, her very heart and soul; take flight. High above where the confinements and restraints were no longer found. As if a light switch was flipped I saw the lustrous side of her. Often times we miss seeing someone right there in front of us.That bears repeating. Often times we miss seeing someone right there in front of us. I was sharing with a friend a story that captivated me on social media. It was against the perils of judging another. Certainly it is something we all fall prey to but indeed is something we all should heed and take note to reign in. Myself included. A gentleman had bought some cookies.While enjoying them he realized that another man across the table was enjoying his same cookies. This man became quite annoyed. He was irritated that he would have such nerve. It came down to the last cookie. The man across the table pleasantly took that last cookie, he halved it and shared it with the gentleman. He shook his head in disgust but ate his cookie while the other man smiled. That man across from him left. It was when this gentleman went to gather his things he realized that the cookies he had purchased were still sitting there. It had been HIM that was eating the other man's cookies! Oh I belly laughed and found such depth in the simplicity of this story. As often Life so graciously, beautifully teaches us all when we are teachable and open hearted with eyes from our soul are wide with wonder. 

I found myself Saturday Morning receiving a FaceTime from my Daughter. I love when she or anyone brings me into her/their world.  I watched her put on her makeup, decide what to wear and just chit chatting. The beauty of technology brought to Life.  It was mid morning and I had been up early and coffee was no longer part of my day. She said "hey Mom, lets have our coffee together like we always do!" I was like "what?" But did not dare utter a word. I found her happily gathering her cup and the fixings for her coffee. What do you think this over caffeinated Momma went and did? Absolutely. I might not have ever moved so fast in fact.  I drank in the most delicious cup I could have ever imagined. As she was spending the night with a friend she took me shopping with them for a bit. It is just a part of who we are and how we move along through life. It is finding a commonality to connect, when I often times cannot with her in these Teenage years. Do not misinterpret, she is perhaps one of the most unruly to harness at times and I am learning how to temper. Perhaps at making the wrong choices first, however; moments like these are what propel me to persevere. 

Interrupted, I come back to this task at hand. Writing my daily ten things I am grateful for. My last 90 days challenge. I wiggle back into my seat eager to finish this task before me. I smile and write enthusiastically as the rain begins to downpour. I grab my phone to ask Suri to define interruptions because I just scribbled it with glee. This one is my Favorite: to obstruct something, especially a view. I nod my head as I think on what I wrote not once but twice earlier. About not seeing what is in front of you. Yesterday, I'm getting out of the bath totally not prepared for the call that the golf cart had broken down. I immediately tell my Daughter to call our fella that services it. His response was to tow it until he could look at it tomorrow. TOW IT?! Something surged within me that we were up for this interruption. I grab a rope from the garage and off we go to meet this obstruction. I sit today in awe realizing the gratitude I feel from what we gathered during something none of us were too happy about to say the least. This situation let us down. It left us stranded. Frustrated. Wondering if or how we would get it towed because we could not see how it was to happen. There was so much girl power surging, Life had just called us all to order. ( I cannot figure out how to upload my videos but will certainly share in days to come.) 

My Heart is overflowing with wonderment as I replay these videos as I watch them go through these moments and they are seeing Life so crystal clear. The laughter that bellows from their bellies is a lesson for us all. These girls set out with one thing in mind. A joy ride. Ironically, they got that and so much more. So keep Dreaming but hold on loosely like one of my favorite songs growing up by Thirty Eight Special. If you cling too tightly  you will lose control.  So loosen up, embrace and enjoy the momentary setbacks, interruptions and obstructed views. Perhaps Life is merely perfecting your vision. Love is always there in abundance and will always lead you Home to your Dreams. 

I saw this on Facebook last night. I was Obsessed.  I absolutely love this Mother. I went to High School with her but watching her especially on Snapchat always leaves me moved and inspired. My Daughter is enthralled as we all are. She sees Life. She gets it. She is the real deal. She and her Daughter here are what this world needs more of.  In the ordinary she sees the spectacular, the Wonderment. What any of you should know is her Daughter who is a Teenager and as fabulous as her Mom, is the one who posted this on Facebook.  May this inspire you to buckle up and hone in on what is most important and ultimately the fulfillment of all our Dreams. Enjoy this duo as on the dreariest of days I am able to sing I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It's gonna be a bright Sun-Shiny Day. This is The Wonderment of Life. xo

VANTAGE POINT

 I sit sipping on my cup of hot tea and lose myself in the herbal blend. Slowly and methodically weaving their magic herbs as I am spellbound imagining of being on a hot air balloon ride. The adrenaline is surging as I approach the basket. A portion of myself wants to resist but I am overcome with curiosity and fascination. Instantly, I climbed onboard and it is nothing shy of surreal. The bursts of air are fueling the balloon to lift the basket. Each time the air is emitted it is such a surge of power. The noisy force brings my senses to attention; causing my hands to sweat and tremble as my legs get weak in the knee. I am instantly overcome and quaked to my very core. My eyes are tightly closed as my hands are clinched to the basket. I sense that we have left the ground. I open my eyes and my pursed mouth relaxes to that of a satisfied smile. One with pride that I have met this raging fear of mine. The second for allowing myself to behold this phenomenal beauty. I have now stepped out breathing deep and wide; full of longing to explore the great unknown.  I am paralyzed with the fear of heights but as I look around and gazed out upon the beauty I am captivated. Wonderment floods my Soul and I have succumbed from the fear and bask in the majestic marvels of beauty that surround me. It is just before the Sun begins to dawn. All of Nature is starting to rouse. By now the bursts of hot air that erupt are becoming soothing. Somehow now I relax and invite them as I am captivated by the mysterious aerostation  in action. The wonder above it all is in order for that basket or gondola  to be lifted and carried high up in the horizons the air must be extremely hot. Hot like my cup of tea or hotter. So hot in fact that a burner is used to heat the air.  Moreover, it is unleashing the buoyancy to cause us to lift high above the Houses. Up higher now above the tree tops. I look around and marvel at all I savored and deliciously drank in. The skyline as the sun begins to rise. The glorious colors being painted there before me are amplified with  intensified hues from this vantage point. For very few moments in my life, I have no words. It is as if too I was awakened and never more alive. 


My mind drifts to a couple weeks ago and my Daughter and I were honoring and in our best efforts celebrating her little sister's birth. We sat on the floor with her photo's all around us. As if the photographs were telling their stories we would embrace their weightiness. The force of love and the passion of life surged within us as if shot into us with a needle. We rummaged through the drawers that safely keep her things. Liken to an old antiqued chest that was kept up in an attic. I watched my Daughter as she is now older and able to grasp it all. The moments where her eyes were wide with wonder and the next were filled with tears. She then took one of her little sister's blankets and pillows  and we were off to watch home movies. As if the steam of that hot air balloon erupted; I knew just what movie we would watch. It was my older Daughter's birth and as my now teenager gasped, she said, "Mom this is so Trippy." I sensed the glorious Wonderment of Life was ignited as she watched me pregnant realizing it was Her inside of me. The moments that she watched will be seared to my heart forever. It was the first time she grasped the unmeasurable gift of Life. Her Life.  And even more, her gift of life to me. The gift of fifty six days of Claire's Life was illuminated in a poignant way as in a key that unlocked the gates to unleash that fervency within now my Older Daughter.  How we live and love Today will effect our Days and Years from now. Moreover, those all around us. My younger Daughter has taught us both that. It was within that moment that mantel was passed on. We were soaring high as if she were in that hot air balloon ride with me. 


 I close my eyes and imagine myself again upon that hot air balloon. I relish in how perfectly timed as Life so often is. Since the first of this Month, I have been doing Rachel Hollis' #last90dayschallenge alongside my Daughter and some friends. There are 5 to Thrive things to do each day. Number five just may be my favorite. Its the hot air that lifts my Heart and Soul. It has you write down ten things you are grateful for. I wrote a couple of years back on social media;  Day one of 365 and so on. Days became Chapters. I am a huge resolutions girl. Always have been. You see, I was lucky enough to identify with who I was at a very young age. I see the same in my Daughter. But now at my age I can see how life can often times have me doubting most of all myself! Before I know it, me and all of my dreams, resolutions and goals that I had held so tightly to before were now just blowing in the wind. But this elates me, it delights me with a new found excitement. How brilliant?! We often start off strong with anything or everything in Life, but lose that stamina or drive midway. I have my hand up for certain. My same best friend's husband always says it is not how you start but how you finish. So let's finish out this year, strong together. 

One of mine and my Daughter's favorite movies and soundtracks has been Mama Mia. Since she was just three years old. She and I have danced and twirled to these tunes. We have been to Broadway and in our pjs snuggled before our television. It never grows old. Ten years later we had a date night. We went out to eat our favorite, Sushi. Then we went to see the sequel, Mama Mia here we go again. We laughed, we sang and we cried. What I only realized this past weekend as we now purchased the sequel and watched them both back to back why this is so poignant. It was one of my top ten things I will ever be grateful for. The movie started with the Daughter singing, "I have a Dream." 

                       This was us at Dinner

My Daughter's Insta Post after the Movie  

Be unapologetic about that which sets your soul on fire. Live with intention, purposefully. Be who you were created to be in ALL of it's entirety. You will not appeal to everyone perhaps, but what a gift to those who you were designed for. Oprah Winfrey is quoted and I wholeheartedly agree, "The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your Dreams." This is the Wonderment of Life. xo