EYES WIDE SHUT

Strolling down the cobblestone path I was alone and able to pace myself to my own liking. I felt free. Something I had not known in quite some time. Liken to the feeling when you are able to stretch out and not be restricted. Rather you feel a burst of life within your being; like that first stretch of the day when you wake up. I was gifted a while back with the opportunity to get lost in a new city. I will remember this day forever. If I go back a million times I think this city would speak differently to me. I am different. However, the tone has been set and any other visit would build upon this moment. The air was flirty and silly. It brought out the child in me. It dared me to dream. I browsed through a book store as I turned the pages, the words seemingly came to life. As if the characters were speaking to me. Between the spark in my eyes and the smirk on my face I felt alive. I went in and out of shops visiting and gleaning from every stop. Purchasing mementos to share and those to keep. One of my favorites were some egg cups that I admire daily in my kitchen as they remind me of that moment. That Moment was reigniting my very own Love Affair with Life. Knowingly my Life was about to change, drastically. As I sat in a quaint rustic coffee house; a group of men came in. I could not understand their words. However, it was the most beautiful conversation. It stirred my being and awakened my Soul. They stood around the counter as they waited for the barista to bring their espresso shots. There was laughter and their words danced as they fell off their tongues. I was enamored. Fascinated. As soon as they took their shot they continued on their way as merriment was leading the way. I instantly felt sad. This place that moments ago was so ever enchanting was now blasé. I looked around at the other tables. Conversations were in full swing but it was different. I wanted that zip and zest. I desired that enthralling air that tickled the hairs on my arms and gave me goosebumps. I wanted that moment back. I gathered my belongings and ventured onward in quest of another magical moment. I met a charming shop owner. I shopped and we chatted and made friends. I stumbled upon a linen shop. The broken dialect was cute and comical as we tried to communicate. To this day, every single time I tie the linen formal jacket on my bottle of wine to serve my friends; I feel that moment rush through my veins. All of it like a rapid slideshow of that day as I was lost in a beloved city. I allow it to perpetuate, to go before me assured we will meet to reconnect again. 

As I am writing a book not surprising on romance, it trickles over here to our Dreams and love affair with life. Our moments are filled with the mundane for certain. However, it is those golden seconds that surprise you and leave you breathless. Enslaved to the quest of life being more than meets the eye. I think of a job I held. When I first worked there, it was magical. I had a partner in crime. The way these cubicles were designed, we were together. Sort of. We were in the dark corner. However, we never wanted to leave our space. In fact, everyone would come fraternize with us back in our little dark corner. We had candy and snacks we giggled and chatted while hustling like crazy entering orders. It was like the party place. But then one day we were promoted. We were moved away from one another. I now was front and center in the bright light in my cube. Ironically,I began to wither. The job promotion and higher pay was embraced. But the true happiness and satisfaction was before, in that little corner.  I remember being in my new position and a sweet friend would surprise me as he walked by on the outside of my confines and catch a stress ball I had thrown up. As I smiled popping my head out it was as if injected with a surge of joy. My heart then and there instantly took me back if even for a moment, to that corner.  Life is all in how you look at it. Some might have thought a drab, dark corner; alas,  We knew otherwise. It must be said. That promotion and yes, even the portion of me withering and not being successful; was only preparing me for my next moment and job. Perhaps if the situations weren't as they were I wouldn't have ever left. 

As I am typing this blog, my yardman is trimming my trees in the front of my House. He is sharpening the edges to bring back the crispness. I was alarmed when I saw how much he cut off. I flew out the door in one quick motion. I was displeased in every way. We both stood there speechless but undoubtably conversing. We both felt horrible. His defensiveness was in full throttle and I was heartbroken that he didn't talk to me first.  I finally broke the silence attesting that he must continue on and make them all this way. During the time he was pruning back and cutting away I was snapping pictures and videos. If ever I miss my trees I will be able to remember them and enjoy their height and beauty, I thought. By the time he finished I walked outside shouting out my affirmations of my delight. In a flash, the reminiscent moments of days gone by, enveloped my being. The other day my daughter dropped a box of matches. They were the long kind. As we knelt down to pick them up I stopped and said this is like pick up sticks! When you first drop these onto the ground, there is no order and they seem a mess. Kind of liken to life sometimes. Furthermore, your goal is to get to that very last one on the bottom. However, as life is you have to start at the beginning. Carefully you push down on one end of the stick, holding your breath not to move another one as you try to remove it. Whoever has the most sticks at the end of the game wins. Remember that moment? The adrenaline rushes as you hurriedly count hoping you had the most. The same can be said of our moments. In high school for homeroom I sat in the front row and my classmates would gather. I recounted my moments filled with antics from the previous day or weekend. I always had colorful tales. I remember us giggling and laughing. It made others share too. The truth is, not all were that outstanding of moments. However, it was my perception and appreciation that gave them life. It was my Passion to live heart wide open unafraid to be alive and present. I vividly remember me being the bratty younger sister that was simply a clown. I still am.  I got in a perfume and powder fight with my older sister. There was powder everywhere. All over us, all down the hallway and I will never forget my Mom's displeasure! But what makes me smile the most is that feeling that moment branded on me. Standing there holding my canister of baby powder while My Mom got on to us. It was dripping off of me and my sister was covered. Delightfully, it was worth it. The satisfaction of yet again winning against my elder sister because she just stunk up the place with all of her perfume she sprayed at me. Yet proudly, I left my mark! The Wonderment of Life is that we are grateful to value our moments. All of our moments. Being grateful that even the ones we find unpleasant are spring boarding us to who and where we need to be. Embracing the here and now and going all in with all the gusto we can muster to get lost in this moment in time. To be fully present. If we truly understand that every single moment builds upon the other we would be celebrating more, having more fun in the here and now. Like me and my gal pal in the dark corner. We were driven to be promoted. However, we enjoyed and gave it our all while timing worked it's magic. Those are some of my fondest memories while working there. What if I had been only giving it a dabble while being negative because it wasn't what I wanted or where I wanted to be?? Even more fascinating, looking back over my life. What if I had made different choices. Where would I be now? Starstruck at how life outshines our mere perceptions. The Wonderment of Life is  unleashing your passion to create moments that will be memorable. Most of all, leave your mark.  This is the Wonderment of Life. xo