I was scrolling earlier on Instagram, it was as if this post reached out and grabbed my pajama top by its collar and pulled me in as if bringing these pictures to life. Right there in that moment there I was standing with Carrie and "Big" from the show Sex and The City. She is in a gorgeous couture gown, mesmerising chiffon and alluring in exquisiteness as they are gracefully stepping down the steps. She has the front of her gown gathered in her hand to lift to step with more ease and bellowing out from underneath are the glorious tule layers peaking out flirtaciously as Big is dapper and refined in his debonair suit as only he could pull that look off. The caption reads, "What you see...and what you don't see..." I scurry over the photo as a hidden pictures game I still to this day love to find in children's activity books; mind racing what am I missing? What is it I do not see? Alas, up in the top right hand it was as the fork that you almost didn't recognize in the leg of the table in the beloved childrens past time, was the number that there was another picture! Instantly, I swiped right to see the back of Carrie and Big and all the photographers and sightseers all gathered.... watching. I found myself swept away, pajama's and all and instantly, I could feel the breeze blowing as I saw in the picture of Carrie's hair beautifully swept back and giving her dress movement and the spellbounding fragrance of a bouquet in the wind. My head turned as I heard all the shutters of cameras and conversations of the crowd that was watching you could feel their excitement and awe as they were able to see what very few of us at home could. I realized how poignant this was to us and our lives, very few only see our productions and our persuits of our dreams and goals they only see the scripted character we portray.
I had been reading earlier in a blog/podcast by Danielle LaPorte titled Did you get interrupted on the way to "ideal"? I was so moved it spoke of her looking back to her as a younger person she was quoted as saying, "Here's to me, to me in my tube skirt and cowboy boots, chugging chocolate milk on a Saturday morning for a tequilla hangover:
How do you want your future to feel? And she would have replied, wihtout hesitation, "I want my life to feel AMAZING!"And she wouldn't have a clue what that was going to look like. "Ideal" would have been a mysetery to unfold instead of a trail of milestones. And she would have known that....the detours and interupptions are warning bells and magic spells. Choose to unfold. It's way less predictable, less tidy, it's highly inconvenient. And it's where the power is. The kind of beautiful, gorgeous power you've been craving to feel your entire life. Every "image" I had of my "ideal" life has been interrupted, derailed, splattered on the road to this sometimes way too complicated, patience-of-Job, deeply deep and BEAUTIFUL life that I find myself in. CORRECTION: I didn't "find" myself here. I made choices to be here- right where I am. One choice at a time. Everytime you choose to go for a "feeling" instead of an "image", you're making a courageus choice."
One of the most memorable moments at any wedding receptions thus far was one I attended of a childhood friend's Daughter recently. They had booked a phenomenal band highly coveted as I have been told since then, the weather was just terrible, raining so much that the band refused to play. As you can imagine, the Parents were devestated; all the time, planning, preparations of this moment and they stood there watching the band pack up. Emotions flooded my soul as I couldn't fathom their feelings as having a Daughter myself. My respect for them was immensely increased as I watched them unfold their truest ideal of their first Daughter's reception and invoke their hearts and love by allowing their feelings of this moment to be their couragous choice and any of us attending were all touched by this. The wedding party scurried to gather cell phones and play lists and right there in the midst of the rain we danced and we sang and we Celebrated in what now I will never forget. I only hope I can react in the pureness with my Daughter's moments as I learned from these amazing parents. You see, as liberating as I am finding my current middle aged status, I am catching a glimpse of why we are often told to sit at the feet of the old aged as well (I will bet that this middle aged couple when they find themselves older aged will be speaking of this moment at their oldest of ages) as those who have achieved. You will undoubtably hear of the less tidy times, detours and interruptions that they will attest ushered them to where they were to be. I liken this to how Flora Bama hosts the Song Writer's Festival Annually, it is delightfully enlightening for me to hear and learn of what "life" portrayed and how they felt; for them to be
inspired and create the beloved song you sing of; causing it to resognate, and has more meaning. Realizing in all of these areas you were granted VIP backstage, behind the scenes access which solidified that which you were merely seeing by imparting that feeling. The Wonderment of Life here is quoted by the musician of this song, "We wanted to capture the feeling of losing your way along the journey and then with a little help, finding your way back to the purity of the reason you ever began the journey..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFPtODPHcuM
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