TIPTOE THROUGH THE TULIPS

Scrambling down my ladder feet in tune of Marky Mark's Good Vibrations that just came on my speaker, I reach for the remote and as I rewind the song to restart it, my head just nods in sheer satisfaction and I cannot contain myself from the energy and emotion as I pump up the volume.  As a soap opera stare comes over me and a smile that draws from deep within, giggling as I board this magic carpet ride for in a sheer moment it takes me back to days of old and my cd I still have, Jock Jams. My Daughter who is almost thirteen has this on her phone as well as it is a favorite in both our playlists. The feeling is electric and gets my Soul to moving not just in past time but in present day time in the here and now as if declaring unto this dusty living room I am cleaning to take note that I am at large and in charge of this moment, my moment; feeling that vibration that is oh so good free to be me.  One of the things that I truly desire as part of my Legacy is my desire for living in the moment and making those moments matter to continue on.  Perhaps it is my Destiny as the series of events occuring shaping my life as a young high school girl taking care of her Mother who was extremely ill and society was not quite ready to embrace her disease; if it truly ever will be. I learned how important the mood or tone of our Home (heart)  was as it could be downtrodden or depressing at times so I learned the power of celebrating the here and now. Flash forward to me in my late thirties and my second child is terminal given perhaps eight weeks to live, but daily it was uncertain if today would be her day to go....liken as to when you stop and truly appreciate this moment, your moment, none of ours are certain; we just simply take for grandit it will be. Furthermore I believe this is what leads us to miss the ordinary, perhaps by chance, coincidence moments that were laced with all the depth our souls search for.

When I first started blogging I titled this as I did for this very reason. Life is full of Wonder and Wonderments as George Strait sings I saw God today, this is my variation, my call to take hold of the here and now to unleash your passion of your dreams within your heart;  writing out into the unknown as my messages in a bottle to drift to the shores and into the hands in hopes to inspire and move those who read my words. As  I have written in past blogs, the good, the bad and the ugly moments are quintessential realizing that perhaps only in the looking back will those hard times be appreciated for without them you would not be  where they escorted you. Realizing you were ushered here only because of those moments. I read something the other day that goes along perfectly, 
"If you are only looking for God in the spectacular, you'll miss Him in the ordinary." Ordinary is not an accepted description in my vocabuary describing any element of my life... or -perhaps I am referring to only part of it's definiton because as defined as an adjective part is as I speak of to be bland or common however, it goes on to define it as inferior in quality, deficient. So go back and read that quote and replace it with deficient in quality and it truly ressonates.  It is when I stop to appreciate and drink in the here and now allowing it to permeate my being I am transformed. In a day in which we find ourselves unable to relish in these moments of Halloween the real meaning of the eve of all Saints Day on November first and All Souls day on November second which is a holy day of obligation for us Catholics and very special to anyone who has lost someone dear to them; because, immediately your attention is taken to Christmas being decked around the stores it is as if Society has missed the dearest meaning of life; the here and now. Right now. As in playing my Daughter in tennis I have learned that if I concentrate on my hitting the ball and following through all the way, then after my follow through do I move to prepare for the rallied return of the ball I will be ever more effective.  I believe with every fiber of my being we are where we are by design and our passion and dreams are what fuels the magic to make that carpet take flight for us to ride. 

I find myself exstatic to go see Ferdinand the movie as I have always adored the story of him. I have enjoyed listening to Nick Jonas singing the song Home to this soundtrack. When I think of Home I think of homebase as I stayed up late watching the World Series the other night wrapped up in the intoxicating enthrallment of watching not only the players run to it but their team mates in cheering them on and enjoying that moment celebrating. I too felt as if I had crossed that base. I think of the Home team football game as I was cheering last night for my Daughter to cheer for her boys in school's football team celebrating those moments to hallmark plays (and phenomenal cheerleaders of course). Above all when I think of Home, it is always undeniably my Heart and where life was truly lived.  The saying could never be more bona fide, unquestionable or factual;  Home is where the Heart is. Perhaps I would still be this Celebrating Sensation of Moments and following your Dreams nonetheless, however, I am solid and fortified after building my life  with the added given variables that seasoned me. 

Ferdinand shows us that just because he was a Bull, he did not have to act as one,moreover,  he inspired us all by merely following his heart. We are made to be uniquely wholeheartedly who we are regardless of anything external. Often times when I feel out of place because I am driven to follow my passion in my heart I chuckle and feel so invariably satisfied as I picture big ole Ferdinand happy as can be sitting under the tree smelling his beloved flowers.  I love the movie The Blindside when Sandra Bullock realized how Micheal Oar was too Ferdinand (we all are in fact) and channeled his passion, leading his heart by him playing football like what his dream in his heart was, his family. May we all live in such a way that as these examples showed great determination to be who they truly were inside to the very depths of their Soul; henceforth making the vibrations in their lives good and inspiring those around them as well. The Wonderment of Life is being able to feel the good vibrations where there were none. Often times I am grabbing my jumper cables in the ordinary times  to crank it up being charged from a deeper force that unleashes my Heart with Passion liken to a lamp that merely is a pretty decorative piece until it is turned on in the dark. May we all light up our worlds this weekend finding delight and satisfaction in clicking our ruby red slipper heels together and whisper there is no place like home... our hearts. 

The picture I chose at the top is special and relevant to this blog because it was in the midst of a cheer game my Daughter yells out from the field to me in the stands and unctions for me to go take a picture of the sky. I missed that moment at first, I chuckled to those around me not getting what the fuss was about but when I got to where she beckoned for me to stand and take the picture I beheld the beauty not just of that sky but of her heart. Do not miss your moment of the here and now regardless where it finds you as her in the midst of cheering her heart was searching for so much more in her moment. She yearned to be blown away or inspired to feel good vibrations. The call to look deeper for more than a moment; well done my child, alas she succeeded. 

UNANSWERED PRAYERS

Fall is truly in the air, in such an exceptional force as if you could reach out and touch it. I would give anything to be able to spend many days this time of year when the leaves have peaked in the Mountains.  My bucketlist has places  somewhere different for me like Vermont or  Massachusetts, but would always return to my favorites where my heart is fond in North Carolina and Tennessee. Perhaps rent a convertable and just drive, drinking in the glorious colors as a psychedelic kaleidoscope, mulitcolored vibrant hues, so rich and intense as if the Mountains and tree tops are speaking audibly to you; beckoning you as your eyes are drinking in the bewitching beauty of Nature. Cool air blows through your hair as if resusitating you, reaching over to bring your jacket a little tighter closed, air so crisp you can hear it snap. Melodies of creatures singing beautiful ballads as if choreographed by the most skilled Maestros. My mind is frozen as if the train derailed in my brain that this majesty I behold became by these trees being themselves in order for these masterpieces to be unleashed and relvealed. In a world that demands we twist and contort ourselves in order to be the "norm" ideal, at the least accepted;  I find it incredibly liberating to bask in the moment and just be. 

Often times we mistake what "be" defines; we think of it like cruising, laid back, moreover, the definition of be is to exist, or live and Shakesphere's quote "to be or not to be," that is the ultimate question follows in the definition. In order to fully obtain our Dreams as I have mentioned; I have become acutely aware that our Dreams have to be fueled from the Heart with the breezy movement of Life as the trees that are fluidly moving not rigid and harnessed. Just as the Horse is something to marvel when the saddle is taken off and the Horse is free to run with their Mane blowing in the wind and you see the muscles as they stride, marveling in the beauty of their motion as they prance and dance. So our Dreams should be so inate within our Souls that as we move to obtain them people are moved, inspired by our Passion. Just as the leaves harmouniously change and beautifully work together creating a breathtaking view that moves you to the depth of your core. These trees were simply being who they were created to be. Blooming the colors emitting  their beauty not trying to be another color or shade. The Horse is not rigid in movement when it is free to run, moreover you are moved and amazed as you see them. My favorite time of  horseback riding is when the Horses get cranked up because they know they are close to Home. It kicks my adrenaline up a notch as I too can relate after a long day and sensing Home is near. 

I have never been one to follow the crowd, I'm the one who was always swimming upstream opposite often times. Even today at fifty. I see when someone disapproves, but this isn't their life it is mine. I am the one who will be responcible when I am sitting there having my Life read to me reminding me of my Story as in the Notebook. For me that is empowering and it unleashes within me swirls of energy that  fuel my being to conquer that which I desire. My Daughter is watching me and my choices in everyway dealing with my Lifestyle and I want her to be rooted so far deep as these glorious trees that when it is her time to "turn" as these leaves it is marveled and noted that it is her own uniqeness her heart and soul that shines out. Not the Dream Job, Dream Vacation, Dream Man (or Woman), Dream Family, Dream Home, etc etc that define her. Our Dreams are only to enhance that who our Core consists or we will find ourselves obtaining Dreams but rigid, unhappy, empty and unfullfilled. Recently, Hurricane Nate took down one of our Water Oaks from the roots, as it went down it took parts of two others beside it and crashing down on my fountain in the front yard. I was devestated and it felt as if the bones in my body had broken. After a few moments, I wiped the tears from my eyes and chose to be like those glorious trees and Horses and said, "lets roll Tammy,"  I went out and stopped the chainsaw worker and instructed him of my plan. It was effortless but beautiful. These men even teared up at the plan, because they saw my Heart and Passion. They do this all day every day, but these trees were different because they were mine and they knew it. 

Now I have these Chargers for my Dining Table and me, my Daughter and our Guests who dine at our table will be able to drink in the beauty of our trees...just in a new way. Moreover, these trees that were rooted most of all in my Heart will be used this evening for thirty High School students for their Homecoming Dinner as Chargers adorning their Dining Tables at a friends Home. Timing being played out so perfectly as I was finishing this blog my friend just so happened to text me pictures. I could not hold back the tears, one the timing is always right if we just hang on and keep on keeping on and two, I may not have ever seen my trees look more beautiful. 

I will keep so many chargers for myself; and I have creative friends who flow in their own ingeniuity helping me think of what to add to finish these to gift. The most beautiful part of all of this is that one day, long way down the road, my Daughter will be fifty and sharing with her own Family and friends setting a glorious table with these chargers from trees from her yard and tell stories that come to mind of her and her Home. The Wonderment of Life is, sometimes just what we think is our Dream was just part of the Story. Go after those Dreams but don't hold to them for your identity, you are more than the Dreams. People aren't wowed at the Dreams as much as when they are immersed and fueled with the Heart and Soul. That is what is awe inspiring so take that saddle off and follow your Heart as those Horses when Home (that is where your Dreams are kept always in our Hearts)  is in sight and run in a way of not only reaching your goal but changing others along the way. What truly is amazing is that my fallen trees will be shared in such a new way with people that would have never seen them in my yard, emitting the heart and passion I possess of my Home. Same to be said of you so let the wind blow and enjoy the breezes life brings and yes, even those strong winds, however; keep going after those Dreams even when they seem like they will never Happen or have crashed just like my trees.  I challange you to see where they take you if you keep your Heart and Soul rooted within the Core of who you are. The Notebook Movie became our Dream Life only after all the wind blew and Life happened to them; so just be... only you...The most Glorious Wonderment of Life. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cqlL4r0was