UNANSWERED PRAYERS

Fall is truly in the air, in such an exceptional force as if you could reach out and touch it. I would give anything to be able to spend many days this time of year when the leaves have peaked in the Mountains.  My bucketlist has places  somewhere different for me like Vermont or  Massachusetts, but would always return to my favorites where my heart is fond in North Carolina and Tennessee. Perhaps rent a convertable and just drive, drinking in the glorious colors as a psychedelic kaleidoscope, mulitcolored vibrant hues, so rich and intense as if the Mountains and tree tops are speaking audibly to you; beckoning you as your eyes are drinking in the bewitching beauty of Nature. Cool air blows through your hair as if resusitating you, reaching over to bring your jacket a little tighter closed, air so crisp you can hear it snap. Melodies of creatures singing beautiful ballads as if choreographed by the most skilled Maestros. My mind is frozen as if the train derailed in my brain that this majesty I behold became by these trees being themselves in order for these masterpieces to be unleashed and relvealed. In a world that demands we twist and contort ourselves in order to be the "norm" ideal, at the least accepted;  I find it incredibly liberating to bask in the moment and just be. 

Often times we mistake what "be" defines; we think of it like cruising, laid back, moreover, the definition of be is to exist, or live and Shakesphere's quote "to be or not to be," that is the ultimate question follows in the definition. In order to fully obtain our Dreams as I have mentioned; I have become acutely aware that our Dreams have to be fueled from the Heart with the breezy movement of Life as the trees that are fluidly moving not rigid and harnessed. Just as the Horse is something to marvel when the saddle is taken off and the Horse is free to run with their Mane blowing in the wind and you see the muscles as they stride, marveling in the beauty of their motion as they prance and dance. So our Dreams should be so inate within our Souls that as we move to obtain them people are moved, inspired by our Passion. Just as the leaves harmouniously change and beautifully work together creating a breathtaking view that moves you to the depth of your core. These trees were simply being who they were created to be. Blooming the colors emitting  their beauty not trying to be another color or shade. The Horse is not rigid in movement when it is free to run, moreover you are moved and amazed as you see them. My favorite time of  horseback riding is when the Horses get cranked up because they know they are close to Home. It kicks my adrenaline up a notch as I too can relate after a long day and sensing Home is near. 

I have never been one to follow the crowd, I'm the one who was always swimming upstream opposite often times. Even today at fifty. I see when someone disapproves, but this isn't their life it is mine. I am the one who will be responcible when I am sitting there having my Life read to me reminding me of my Story as in the Notebook. For me that is empowering and it unleashes within me swirls of energy that  fuel my being to conquer that which I desire. My Daughter is watching me and my choices in everyway dealing with my Lifestyle and I want her to be rooted so far deep as these glorious trees that when it is her time to "turn" as these leaves it is marveled and noted that it is her own uniqeness her heart and soul that shines out. Not the Dream Job, Dream Vacation, Dream Man (or Woman), Dream Family, Dream Home, etc etc that define her. Our Dreams are only to enhance that who our Core consists or we will find ourselves obtaining Dreams but rigid, unhappy, empty and unfullfilled. Recently, Hurricane Nate took down one of our Water Oaks from the roots, as it went down it took parts of two others beside it and crashing down on my fountain in the front yard. I was devestated and it felt as if the bones in my body had broken. After a few moments, I wiped the tears from my eyes and chose to be like those glorious trees and Horses and said, "lets roll Tammy,"  I went out and stopped the chainsaw worker and instructed him of my plan. It was effortless but beautiful. These men even teared up at the plan, because they saw my Heart and Passion. They do this all day every day, but these trees were different because they were mine and they knew it. 

Now I have these Chargers for my Dining Table and me, my Daughter and our Guests who dine at our table will be able to drink in the beauty of our trees...just in a new way. Moreover, these trees that were rooted most of all in my Heart will be used this evening for thirty High School students for their Homecoming Dinner as Chargers adorning their Dining Tables at a friends Home. Timing being played out so perfectly as I was finishing this blog my friend just so happened to text me pictures. I could not hold back the tears, one the timing is always right if we just hang on and keep on keeping on and two, I may not have ever seen my trees look more beautiful. 

I will keep so many chargers for myself; and I have creative friends who flow in their own ingeniuity helping me think of what to add to finish these to gift. The most beautiful part of all of this is that one day, long way down the road, my Daughter will be fifty and sharing with her own Family and friends setting a glorious table with these chargers from trees from her yard and tell stories that come to mind of her and her Home. The Wonderment of Life is, sometimes just what we think is our Dream was just part of the Story. Go after those Dreams but don't hold to them for your identity, you are more than the Dreams. People aren't wowed at the Dreams as much as when they are immersed and fueled with the Heart and Soul. That is what is awe inspiring so take that saddle off and follow your Heart as those Horses when Home (that is where your Dreams are kept always in our Hearts)  is in sight and run in a way of not only reaching your goal but changing others along the way. What truly is amazing is that my fallen trees will be shared in such a new way with people that would have never seen them in my yard, emitting the heart and passion I possess of my Home. Same to be said of you so let the wind blow and enjoy the breezes life brings and yes, even those strong winds, however; keep going after those Dreams even when they seem like they will never Happen or have crashed just like my trees.  I challange you to see where they take you if you keep your Heart and Soul rooted within the Core of who you are. The Notebook Movie became our Dream Life only after all the wind blew and Life happened to them; so just be... only you...The most Glorious Wonderment of Life. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cqlL4r0was