GIVE ME THE BEAT BOYS AND FREE MY SOUL

Sitting waiting on my car to be serviced, I sit in a corner at a restaurant nearby. I am captivated by the people I am watching. Listening to their conversations I cannot help but smile. I liken this to driving in neighborhoods at dark. You are able to get a glimpse inside and the inquisitiveness of a little child is unleashed. Perhaps I stood in line too long in the wonderment department but I am a slave to it. An unexpected giggle erupts. Someone turned to look at me, I just smiled and exchanged some conversation.  Some of these people are regulars and the employees know their order before they speak. An older couple stand holding hands. My eyes tear up as I wonder their story. We all have a story. Some are comedy, others full of drama and then you have the horror stories. Most times we all are a little bit of all.  I am certain some are wondering about me. Why have I been sitting here for hours snuggled in as if I live here? I have set up shop for certain. My soul craves connection. I feel as if I am an onion and my layers have been pulled back. The layers you no longer need. A Friend sent me pictures of a trip we took when I turned Fifty. It was perfect in every way. In fact, my fifties have been more than I could have imagined. Not perfect mind you, but an unbeliveable journey back to Me. The music that plays in this restaurant is as if I am being sung to like a friend of mine who sings. He is gifted like his Mother that regardless of how many people are in the audience, you feel as if he is playing just to you. That is the secret I think. Making people connect with you. I recently, have dated a lot now in my single life. It has been comedic lined with drama; seasoned with suspense and a whole lot scary. To start over is difficult with anything. However, when it comes to your Heart; it is horrific. Since being divorced I can spot the individuals who like me are battle wounded. Unfortunately society and social media convinces us we must move on to another. And quickly. I being that obstinate fish that is driven to swim upstream, I took time to heal. Taking Tammy time is not something I am generally good at. Fortunately, when it really mattered, I came through. 

This journey of mine has an audience of one. She is watching me like a hawk. Again that causes me to quake in my boots. My only desire is that she is proud of me. The Woman that I am, not just her Mother. She is my greatest fan. The most honest harshest critic. To be dating as my Daughter is approaching dating is surreal. Not the life I thought I was going to have most certain. It is even better. I have regained the sense of strength and I am satisfyingly happy. My Daughter and I have a couple of trips we are taking the next couple of weeks. I am completely terrified to take my Daughter over Thanksgiving in our Pop Up Camper I bought some months ago. First trip. The knots pull tighter in my stomach at the mere thought of it. I have made our reservations for the camp sight. I am learning beyond measure. I cannot recall when I was this scared. It means I am doing the right thing. My Daughter's Father told me he was so proud of me for doing this. I realized, I was proud of me. Teenagers are a hard sell oftentimes and I have done my best to prepare her. It is not as lavish as she is accustomed but somehow I know this will better her. The wonderment is that is us too. These times that seem difficult to embrace change.  Uncomfortable. The truth is, I have been bettered too. 

We had one of our Distinguished Young Women stay with us last weekend. She is a student at Yale and personality beyond belief. We leave tomorrow to visit another one at Clemson and we are completely giddy.      Amazing the connection and love we have for them. She is on the dance team and we cannot wait to go to the game and watch her do that which sets her soul on fire. That is the thing. How many are actually living with their souls set on fire? I look around the room and wonder how many of them are. I am not fully yet; but you better believe I am in hot pursuit to that which does. A gentleman sat down at my table. I peered over my laptop questioning his choice of seat. In order to find out; I closed my laptop, smiled and said "well hello" inviting and cheerfully. For I had been making friends during this visit. He asked me what I was doing. I told him writing. He said it suits you. Your countenance was lit up with a welcoming smile and cheeks all flushed as if excited. I was drawn to you and wanted to say hello. He is 92 and he lost his wife a couple of weeks ago. I teared up and touched his hand across the table. The waitress brought him his food and he was just getting up to go to another table. I jumped up and said please stay and join me. I would like to visit some more and hear more of your stories with Gloria. Herb smiled. Nodding his head and wiped his eye with his handkerchief. I just made a wonderful connection with a new friend. He is moving into assisted living next week. I shall go and visit him when he is settled. I could relate in so many ways to the changes he is facing. I sure learned a lot today with my unexpected visitor. Trembling, I let go of all that I do not want or need. Just like that onion. Moreover, my fire was stoked by my new connection and my soul has never shined brighter.  This is the Wonderment of Life. xo 

SUPERNOVA

Walking along the shore, the air is crisp awakening my soul. The waves crashing were brassy. Overcome by their mightiness as they rolled in.  It is loud and mighty between the waves crashing in and the wind. Marveling at just how majestic nature is. Walking by the light of the illuminating moon. The stars as a field of flowers in the vast sky bestow their beauty. I am spellbound. I find myself relaxed and at ease. I am the audience. I have sat here in this same spot for many years.Since a very young adult. A lot of life has been lived. I have lived. I liken my life to the waves that roll in. Then crash upon the shore and as strongly as it came in, it goes back out. Each time it comes back to the shore it brings something new with it. Sometimes that something stays on the shore and sometimes it goes back out with it. The cranking of the waves is not half hearted. It is full of undeniable passion as it moves...churns.  It is always an awakening for me when I come here. I find my soul to be at Home. A haven to rest my bones as I lie upon my blanket in the sand; and a harbor where my Heart delights. Without unction my Soul is free to dance upon this sandy shore and my Heart frolics with the moving waters. As I open my picnic basket, the zest of life  floats out as a mystifying mist. These vapors dance as if a hallucination has carried me out to sea. I surf these mighty waves, exhilaration thrills my being. I crash into the waters and find fascination  meets me; introducing me to curiosity who draws me deeper. I now have lost my board and I  am dressed as if a diver. I am exploring all the secrets that lie beneath these mysterious waters. I race back to the top and eagerly gasp for air. My heart is racing and my breath is faint. I float and allow these waters to move me. Romanced by the brilliancy and splendor of the sky. As if the wind was hushed to a whisper it speaks to me. I recall the writings of Charlotte Bronte, "I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward."  Wonderment overtakes me. 

I saw a post from a friend this morning. It was a beautiful tree that had turned its leaves hue to the most brilliant orange. She put the scripture Ecclesiastes 3:1 "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under Heaven." The waves came crashing in upon my soul. This time the memories of all that had been brought onto my shore in my lifetime, and now are swept back out to sea. I am humbled for the lessons and blessings that each one taught me. Unleashing my heart full throttle while their time was gifted.  I lost a very special bracelet one day as I was caught in the undertow. I think of it often and dance around with the notion of whom will find it and pray that it brings such wonderment to them. Almost as if in me fighting the current,  the waters delicately yet skillfully unlatched my bracelet for it knew where it would travel. I would like to think this finding would bring delight as they told the tale of it being found. I miss that bracelet at times. But as soon as I realize I am missing it, the most satisfying sensation illuminates my being and floods my veins. Oh the beauty of our seasons of lives. Mystifying beyond imagination. My mind delights in the notion of perhaps meeting that person someday. Us being able to share our stories. If ever they offered to return it; I wholeheartedly would refuse so that our story would continue on. 

I just came inside from feeding my bluebirds and birds. My bluebirds lure me outside as they peck at my window or just cause a ruckus. As if a radar is on me for they seem to always know which room I am in. I giggle as I am typing. I felt something in my ponytail. I pulled it out and it was a leaf. Not just any leaf. The brightest hue like my friends post of that tree. I set it down in front of my keyboard and smile attesting to the smoothness and accuracy. To everything there is a season indeed. As the cooler breeze reminds us that the heat of summer is survivable. By the end of the brutal winter we are pining away for the summer. However, as each season ends and a new one begins the change and growth in us is noticed. As I have always measured my daughters growth on a wall in the kitchen; the same maybe said of us internally. 


My Daughter just experienced her first Homecoming week, game and dance. This was the only time the JV cheerleaders would perform at the pep rally and the game that night. We were keeping extremely late and the wee early hours for that week. It was also the end of the quarter.  We were running on pure adrenaline when Friday rolled around. A group of cheer Mom's met for lunch and shopped before arriving to the pep rally. I blew up Snapchat as the emotions flowed. Before I knew it, this vision in Red with leopard print heels was invading my closet for earrings. Then perched upon my vanity chair she asked for me to help her with her makeup as she never wears much of that.  My hands were shaking as I took the brush. I was telling myself, you did countless peoples makeup when you sold cosmetics for many years. But this was different in every way. It was that rush that I find in my spot at the beach as the waves were moving me. Then, there was that ring of the bell with her date on the other side of that door. The waves were working their magic. 

The parents were invited to hang out for several hours to eat and visit before their car would come. Before I knew it I was walking into a room of two dozen freshman girls spending the night after the dance. It was as if the spotlight was on and the mc was announcing my arrival as if I were a rockstar. The emotion that filled the room with giddy shouts and excited giggles erupting. They swarmed around me reaching for burgers, telling me how much they loved me as I was accessorized with two trays held high of Krystal's. Ah, wonderment filled my being. Breaking out breakfast pizzas and spread with girls surrounding my bar the next morning. I was moving chairs and barstools for all of them to sit. Gratitude flooded my being as they were busily chatting crazy. They were continuously eating while giggling galore snapping pictures and making tick toks. My cup overflows as I embrace these long awaited moments.  This portion of raising my Daughter finds us swimming in the waters, riding the upcoming waves together. Knowing that more is waiting for the both of us. Independently as well as collectively. Praying she will have the knowledge and discernment to choose that which sets her soul on fire. Standing tall as a mighty oak unashamedly proud. And as that mighty oak, giving shade to the weary and a resting place within her branches that house many. Protecting them and giving them a sense of security. Her roots are grounded in Love and stretch out far and wide. This is my prayer. My anthem. 


While living the dream of my Daughter, I am constantly adding to my vision board. I am crossing off completed goals and I am on the quest for conquering more. So much more. Liken to the day after her Homecoming; now a group of boys would join. There I laid upon the sofa binging on Hallmark. My Daughter snuggled up to me.  She was thanking me and then we chatted about our dreams to come for one another. We have been doing the Last 90 days challenge.  Now my Dream of her is cheering me on to ignite an inferno to capture all that Life bestows. For me. Whether in a matter of time I reside in a foreign land or on a farm or in a big city one thing remains. I have the chance as I always tell my Daughter that I regardless of my age or any other factor, I can be anything I want to be and I can do anything I want to do. May this fire within my soul burn brightly as a testament to others. Let Life crash onto your shore even if it knocks you down.  Laughter overtakes you when you follow your heart fearlessly. Even when you fail. You will find that you will get back up wiser and accepting of all that is washed back out to sea. Arms and heart wide open for all that will wash up when it's due season . Dream the Impossible and as this new book I have been listening to, Everything is "Figureoutable." This is The Wonderment of Life. xo  

EYES WIDE SHUT

Strolling down the cobblestone path I was alone and able to pace myself to my own liking. I felt free. Something I had not known in quite some time. Liken to the feeling when you are able to stretch out and not be restricted. Rather you feel a burst of life within your being; like that first stretch of the day when you wake up. I was gifted a while back with the opportunity to get lost in a new city. I will remember this day forever. If I go back a million times I think this city would speak differently to me. I am different. However, the tone has been set and any other visit would build upon this moment. The air was flirty and silly. It brought out the child in me. It dared me to dream. I browsed through a book store as I turned the pages, the words seemingly came to life. As if the characters were speaking to me. Between the spark in my eyes and the smirk on my face I felt alive. I went in and out of shops visiting and gleaning from every stop. Purchasing mementos to share and those to keep. One of my favorites were some egg cups that I admire daily in my kitchen as they remind me of that moment. That Moment was reigniting my very own Love Affair with Life. Knowingly my Life was about to change, drastically. As I sat in a quaint rustic coffee house; a group of men came in. I could not understand their words. However, it was the most beautiful conversation. It stirred my being and awakened my Soul. They stood around the counter as they waited for the barista to bring their espresso shots. There was laughter and their words danced as they fell off their tongues. I was enamored. Fascinated. As soon as they took their shot they continued on their way as merriment was leading the way. I instantly felt sad. This place that moments ago was so ever enchanting was now blasé. I looked around at the other tables. Conversations were in full swing but it was different. I wanted that zip and zest. I desired that enthralling air that tickled the hairs on my arms and gave me goosebumps. I wanted that moment back. I gathered my belongings and ventured onward in quest of another magical moment. I met a charming shop owner. I shopped and we chatted and made friends. I stumbled upon a linen shop. The broken dialect was cute and comical as we tried to communicate. To this day, every single time I tie the linen formal jacket on my bottle of wine to serve my friends; I feel that moment rush through my veins. All of it like a rapid slideshow of that day as I was lost in a beloved city. I allow it to perpetuate, to go before me assured we will meet to reconnect again. 

As I am writing a book not surprising on romance, it trickles over here to our Dreams and love affair with life. Our moments are filled with the mundane for certain. However, it is those golden seconds that surprise you and leave you breathless. Enslaved to the quest of life being more than meets the eye. I think of a job I held. When I first worked there, it was magical. I had a partner in crime. The way these cubicles were designed, we were together. Sort of. We were in the dark corner. However, we never wanted to leave our space. In fact, everyone would come fraternize with us back in our little dark corner. We had candy and snacks we giggled and chatted while hustling like crazy entering orders. It was like the party place. But then one day we were promoted. We were moved away from one another. I now was front and center in the bright light in my cube. Ironically,I began to wither. The job promotion and higher pay was embraced. But the true happiness and satisfaction was before, in that little corner.  I remember being in my new position and a sweet friend would surprise me as he walked by on the outside of my confines and catch a stress ball I had thrown up. As I smiled popping my head out it was as if injected with a surge of joy. My heart then and there instantly took me back if even for a moment, to that corner.  Life is all in how you look at it. Some might have thought a drab, dark corner; alas,  We knew otherwise. It must be said. That promotion and yes, even the portion of me withering and not being successful; was only preparing me for my next moment and job. Perhaps if the situations weren't as they were I wouldn't have ever left. 

As I am typing this blog, my yardman is trimming my trees in the front of my House. He is sharpening the edges to bring back the crispness. I was alarmed when I saw how much he cut off. I flew out the door in one quick motion. I was displeased in every way. We both stood there speechless but undoubtably conversing. We both felt horrible. His defensiveness was in full throttle and I was heartbroken that he didn't talk to me first.  I finally broke the silence attesting that he must continue on and make them all this way. During the time he was pruning back and cutting away I was snapping pictures and videos. If ever I miss my trees I will be able to remember them and enjoy their height and beauty, I thought. By the time he finished I walked outside shouting out my affirmations of my delight. In a flash, the reminiscent moments of days gone by, enveloped my being. The other day my daughter dropped a box of matches. They were the long kind. As we knelt down to pick them up I stopped and said this is like pick up sticks! When you first drop these onto the ground, there is no order and they seem a mess. Kind of liken to life sometimes. Furthermore, your goal is to get to that very last one on the bottom. However, as life is you have to start at the beginning. Carefully you push down on one end of the stick, holding your breath not to move another one as you try to remove it. Whoever has the most sticks at the end of the game wins. Remember that moment? The adrenaline rushes as you hurriedly count hoping you had the most. The same can be said of our moments. In high school for homeroom I sat in the front row and my classmates would gather. I recounted my moments filled with antics from the previous day or weekend. I always had colorful tales. I remember us giggling and laughing. It made others share too. The truth is, not all were that outstanding of moments. However, it was my perception and appreciation that gave them life. It was my Passion to live heart wide open unafraid to be alive and present. I vividly remember me being the bratty younger sister that was simply a clown. I still am.  I got in a perfume and powder fight with my older sister. There was powder everywhere. All over us, all down the hallway and I will never forget my Mom's displeasure! But what makes me smile the most is that feeling that moment branded on me. Standing there holding my canister of baby powder while My Mom got on to us. It was dripping off of me and my sister was covered. Delightfully, it was worth it. The satisfaction of yet again winning against my elder sister because she just stunk up the place with all of her perfume she sprayed at me. Yet proudly, I left my mark! The Wonderment of Life is that we are grateful to value our moments. All of our moments. Being grateful that even the ones we find unpleasant are spring boarding us to who and where we need to be. Embracing the here and now and going all in with all the gusto we can muster to get lost in this moment in time. To be fully present. If we truly understand that every single moment builds upon the other we would be celebrating more, having more fun in the here and now. Like me and my gal pal in the dark corner. We were driven to be promoted. However, we enjoyed and gave it our all while timing worked it's magic. Those are some of my fondest memories while working there. What if I had been only giving it a dabble while being negative because it wasn't what I wanted or where I wanted to be?? Even more fascinating, looking back over my life. What if I had made different choices. Where would I be now? Starstruck at how life outshines our mere perceptions. The Wonderment of Life is  unleashing your passion to create moments that will be memorable. Most of all, leave your mark.  This is the Wonderment of Life. xo
                                     

THE ADVENTURES OF CAMMIE + MAMMIE

 

"Timing is Everything. When you're really ready for it, it will come." This Year has been one of the most fascinating I can recall. It is as if I am on stage with an illusionist. There I am lying on a table that he keeps taking away one section at a time. I gasp as the realization occurs that I am suspended in mid air. How often in life this sensation occurs. However, there is always a lot happening I do not see. As I lie there, I can look down and see behind me. I also see there is no seen support holding me because I have ventured onwards. As I open my eyes, I am looking ahead. I notice I am facing what is in front of me. Me suspended in the air is my current position.  This is precisely the best analogy I can give for this past year. My Daughter just Graduated Eighth Grade. She is now off to High School. Ready to make her glory days something worthy to look back on for many years. The thing is, I am ready too. Really Ready. Or am I?  I have come to realize that the process of preparing for readiness is essential. Defined, it is  the state of being fully prepared for something. It was at my Daughter's talent show it hit me. She was different. I looked around at her fellow classmates. They were different too! Within an instant tears were steadily flowing down my face. How does Life like Mother Nature instinctually know? Of course I had the timetable. This allowed me to take my hands off the wheel to try to ready her in many instances. Great awareness as we venture out to take on the world in our own lives. Life never ceases to amaze me and leave me breathless. Moreover, it has quickened within me a greater confidence as I set out to tackle those Dreams and Goals. My Home is always mindful of Celebrating the ordinary moments. However, this has perfected my vision as I see clearer on the impeccable gift of Timing. I breathe in deeply, eyes closed as if I am in the midst of yoga. Centering myself as I allow this gift to permeate my being. As I breathe out it is transforming my behaviors. Granting me patience, accepting the process while respecting the power of timing. 


I set out to purchase a camper three years ago. Last month I was apparently really ready. There I am again, suspended in the middle. I stepped out there and followed that Dream. Now what?! Aha, the readying process, by George I think I got it. I am learning how to hook it up and drive our beloved pop up. When they were teaching us how to set up camp once we arrived my Daughter broke out in laughter. Full on belly laughter. She said this is going to be an adventure alright! I stopped and looked at her as her words were registering, and I too was filled with laughter. She quickly became very serious and said, "Mom, really this is going to be the best times ever. I am so excited!" We have been sitting together pecking away at our keyboards on Pinterest at pop up camper remodels. This pop up is in pristine condition, we just want to make it our own. I realize that perhaps she was what we were waiting on to be ready. She is the driving force and last night as we were working on our makeover she named it. Alas the title of this blog. I as I have mentioned I am known as Mammy and we have nicknamed her as Cammie. Uncertain if I will change my spelling to match hers yet but she wants to paint it on the outside along with our handprints. Furthermore, I realize the asset she will be in the much needed help and three years ago would have been rather daunting. I have always told her she can be anything she wants to be and do anything she wants to do. It reinforces when I show her. Furthermore, this camper has two king beds and a table and chairs that makes into another bed. This is bigger than any others I had looked at and considerably cheaper.  I could go on and on about this adventure but I will save that for another time. As we have been charting out the places we will go, the best part thus far occurred. Timing was showing off in great measure. I have always celebrated my second Daughter's passing date instead of her birthdate. This year it falls on none other than Thanksgiving. We are going back to where we went to get away, as soon as she passed what will be thirteen years ago. My love affair with Life is full of Wonderment. 


Leon Bridges is playing on my bluetooth out on my patio. My favorite song is on "Beyond." As I type I look over my laptop.  I have the beautiful view of my Daughter and her friend. They are slouched and snuggled. Giggling watching videos of them on the slip  and slide on Memorial Day with their friends. The breeze is now gusts as we drink in the sweet summertime vibes. As the wind blows I am transformed. I sit idle to allow my heart to speak to my mind as to converse with me. I feel as free as these birds I watch that take flight. Spellbound as they fly high and beautifully loop about. I release my soul to fly and dare myself to Dream. I now sit in my yard  and swing on my daughters pink disc. Leaning back upon the ropes it hangs from, I call out to my inner child. The breeze moves me about and the intense fragrance from my favorite flower on my Gardenia bush is bewitching and hypnotic.  My hydrangeas entice  me to pick them to beautify my surrounds inside. I am spellbound with the amount of bluebirds that now reside within my yard. The tree in which I swing from has a red headed woodpecker feeding her babies. They sing a melody only God could orchestrate. Alas, Mother Nature  was indeed at work.  I embrace the infallible timing of Life. 

We are now into Summer full swing. We are busy with cheer every morning and golf almost every afternoon. My Daughter starts next week being a candy striper at the same place I did mine at her age. My Home is filled with excitement as we have three girls that just graduated High School to come stay with us this month for a couple of weeks. We are a Host Family for a local organization called Distinguished Young Women in which they will be competing and we haven't participated in many years. Ten years to be exact.  I share with my Daughter the honor we have to be able to be a part of such an important time in their lives.  Timing here is what is gracing my table as the most enchanting centerpiece. My Daughter has not embraced the importance of her studies nor fully understood how they will follow as well as shape her future. These three girls, a gift like none other will inspire her like I never could . Timing knew I needed this phenomenal gift to help nudge my Daughter just right when she needed it most. I have to smile and as I do; a bit of laughter erupts. Life just took my breath away again. This is The Wonderment of Life. xo

                                         Field Day this year she wore her high school colors

                          8th GradeGraduation Day                            Talent Show

Summertime before High School

PLAY IT AGAIN SAM

Letting out a sigh as I shudder from the coolness this morning air brings. Snuggling just a little bit more under the blanket as the weightiness brings comfort. My head falls back onto the chair, the excitement churns within as if percolating through my veins and spreading throughout my entire being. I am buckling up perhaps for takeoff into the great adventure to the unknown. This Majestic Morning speaks to my Heart; wooing me of it's splendor as I drink in this unparalleled beauty. The sky so clear and breathtakingly blue. As if the Sun is shining with higher wattage than normal. It's intensity speaks to the depths of my Soul as I bask in all it's bewitching marvels. Sharp, crisp, distinct lines as if an artist painting this indescribable view. The oil so rich and thick it projects off of the canvas giving depth to this decadent Spring Morning. This morning is liken to what you Dream of in the bitter moments of Winter. Undeniable that Spring has Sprung within my boarders and bewitchingly amidst my Soul. As if all of Nature is harkening. Silently wooing with whispers so hushed as I hear the wind blow through and rustle the leaves upon the trees both near and far. I sense a call to throw open wide my Heart with reckless abandonment. The choir of birds that sing in harmonious musical scales sing out the most mesmerizing ballad. Resounding that not only Morning has broken; but I have been awaken. 

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing
Praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world. 

Ironically enough; just night before last we had a large and billowing storm come through. We had anticipated it for most of the day, but it didn't arrive until the wee hours of the morning. I was awoken  with frightful clamoring. Piercing thunder that alarmed and quaked my being. Fear set in as I worried about all the things that meant so much to me. I thought of my Momma as she was at her Home. Praying she was somehow able to sleep through this. I prayed for my Daughter as she was with her Dad and his Family. I was missing her tremendously; but knew she was being comforted. I grew anxious and uptight for the water oaks that live within my yard. Worrying all the rain and clamor would find another tree to fall. Overtaken by nervousness about the path it might take if it did. I kept looking out the window checking on my precious bluebird family with babies that had just hatched that lives in a house outside my bedroom. I grabbed my goulashes and raincoat in case the birdhouse leaned over from the rain I would dash out to straighten it. Right then and there in the midst of the overwhelming fear that raged, I realized that besides all the elements that scared me, nothing was actually wrong. I had allowed my thoughts to be enslaved to all the thunderous booms and lightening that crackled in the sky. As if breaking these chains that tried to constrain me I realized the importance of what we build our "Houses" on. House here is our Lives, our Hope and Dreams; our very essence to our being. 


Sweet the rain's new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass


Recently, I saw a post and it was of our heartbeats on a monitor. Showing how it peaked real high to only dip real low and repeating itself continuously. It stated, the only time our heartbeats will stay even keel is at our death. When we no longer have a heartbeat. This beautifully describes mere life itself. Often times we want it perfect mountain top to mountain top circumstances. However, the real growth and life happens when we drop deep into the valley. As if inspection is in full swing on our walls and most importantly our foundation. This is where we are being renovated. A reconstructive phase where Life is building back and reinforcing our walls that had seemingly faltered. Areas perhaps that had become stagnant or hopelessness came in like a flood. Just like planting our seeds in our garden. The growth is not seen as it is internal or structural; its the roots strengthening. Deep and deeper still they go.  Then comes the appropriate timing of blooming. Life is measured by timing. Often times we think there is no essence to life underground because we cannot see it. Think of the fortitude of strength that it takes for the glorious flowers to erupt through the ground. Something to think about next time you arrange those delicate beauties in a vase. I constantly tell my Daughter she is delicate like a rose. I love the quote, "A thorn defends the rose harming only those who would steal the blossom." Another one that comes to mind, "But he who dares not grasp the thorn , should never crave the rose." She is one of my Dreams come true in every sense of the word. I had planned for quite sometime a date for us to watch the Masters together as we have traditionally done the past few years. The whole shabang. Homemade Masters egg salad, pimento cheese and the iconic Sara Lee Pound Cake. She being the typical Teenager chose to blow me off and do something that seemed to entice her more. I had to reroute and thwart her plans in order to remind her to look around and bask in the essence of who and what we most assuredly are.  I made her sit alone upstairs for a spell. To reflect upon her actions and to understand the importance of Family. Explaining that this was the strongest portion of her Life only coming second to her Faith. It wound up being more memorable than I imagined. From cackling over outfits, to dreamy comments on golfers to yelling and rewinding strokes gasping "did you see that?!" As her Mother, I knew she needed this. To strengthen her passion for a game that helps define her.  This viable force invokes cheering one another on as warriors for we fight for one another and defend against the storms that try to weaken our walls. Independently as well as collectively. 

Mine is the Sunlight
Mine is the Morning
Born of the one light Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God's recreation of the new day

I have been enjoying these lyrics to Cats Stevens Morning Has Broken since the Spring arrived. It is astounding to see the bursts of life that had been lying dormant. It is afternoon now as I sit in the warm sun and get back to writing. The soft wind blows through my hair. The cool breeze dancing as if to the percussion as the most precise conductor leads an orchestra. The birds still singing melodies as if ballads or the greatest love song ever sung. They sound so happy as I have bell trained my bluebirds and respectfully even the squirrels and other birds are taking note. My adventures with these Bluebirds are an enchanting story all their own. One day I shall put into words the emotion. The delightful tunes transcend my mind piercing my  heart as if branding this moment. Delightfully subduing the Wonderment with my love affair with Life. As I laid in my Yard, these words came to me and I quickly spoke them into my phone to save. It was as if the depths of my Soul was calling out;

Sing me a song, one just for me
Unleash that melody that unlocks my soul to run free.
Spin me around again and again
Filling my heart with glee
As the wind takes my hand I release all fear
Intoxicated and breathless my heart is so full 
satisfied with the very things I hold so dear. 


 Standing up I brush the grass off of me as I have been laying belly down in my yard, face to face with a turtle. Curiously snapping pictures and allowing Mother Nature to move me to depths that satisfy my longing Soul. As if each new morning gently rouses me to awaken. Inviting me to drink in it's mystifying beauty. I live to be amazed and find such satisfaction within the most common of things. Transforming the mundane into miraculous that simply blow you away and take your breath in an instant.  Measuring our days each evening; while beholding a blanket of stars that only God could illuminate. These are the defining moments where you know you were made for this. Life is the greatest Love Story; and we have been cast the leading role. You have all the elements for yours to be a Blockbuster. This is the Wonderment of Life. xo

THE ILLUSION OF LIMITS

Sitting on my back door stoop overlooking my infamous tree. I posted about my favorite tree that peaks that one time a year blooming it's most vibrant shades of leaves. Before I knew it, I was upstairs when the glorious movement of what appeared to be a lustrous snow falling were my beautiful leaves dancing in the wind. The poem instantly came to mind as I opened up my window and captured this unforgettable phenomenon on video. It was breathtaking, awe inspiring. Without unction the words to the well learned poem was dancing on my tongue and gracefully billowing from my lips. 

I think that I shall never see   

A poem lovely as a tree.   

   

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest   

Against the sweet earth’s flowing breast;   

   

A tree that looks at God all day,

And lifts her leafy arms to pray;   

   

A tree that may in summer wear   

A nest of robins in her hair;   

   

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;   

Who intimately lives with rain. 

   

Poems are made by fools like me,   

But only God can make a tree. 

-Joyce Kilmer written in 1913 memorized by me at My Daughter's age now, and my love affair with poetry begun. I think what I find so enchanting about Literature and Poetry is in these days of old Families would gather together and read for entertainment and enjoyment. It is magical how you take a Tree, something there are millions of all over. Various sizes and shapes they are Everywhere overlooked and almost mundane yet the taking of the time to see one it becomes extraordinaire. I am in the midst of writing a love story just on this here topic. One of the greatest things in Life is to be Seen. For many of us waiting out the Epiphany we are still beholding our beautifully dressed and decorated trees from Christmas. 

Shaking my head basking in the allurement of Life itself. I have been moved with wonder this New Year at so many posts. I feel as if there is a subtle continuity being shared. The declared words whatever they may be I feel as if they energize my Soul. I sense an openness; a dare to bare challenge being proclaimed. For that I swing wide the door to my Heart as I inhale the freshness this invigorating air provides. A coming together in a fortified union of gratitude. Heralding of the blessings and even the lessons this past year has taught. A grounded expectancy as in the latter term of pregnancy of the unfolding year arriving. Given birth by a mere moment in time of Midnight when the hand strikes and the entire world is counting down. Excitement unleashed with shouts of joy and merriment. That illustrious kiss in this moment you have yearned for since childhood and pined for all year long. In that mere minute of time magically we bid our fondest adieu's and sing Auld Lang Syne as we intertwine our arms with others around us. Whereas moments prior were mere strangers perhaps yet now are part of your Memory forevermore. Eager shouts of blowers and horns to Celebrate and open wide our doors to what Life is gifting to us all. We stand steady footed and at attention ready. Respectful of the lessons and blessings that lie in waits for us. You see the imagery here between this, that beloved Tree, and Life. 

I savored and immersed myself in my moments with my tree when it began to bloom. So I was able to celebrate when these leaves began to break away and fall. Moreover, the intensity grew immeasurably of the excitement to watch for the new buds to burst forth. Beautiful depiction with the Old Year vs. The New Year. We laid in our yard amongst the tree and we just reveled in those leaves. We threw the leaves at one another, we giggled, belly laughed and Celebrated all that life had allowed us to see. While laying there onlooking our beloved tree we marveled at our other favorite planted right beside it. Our cherished Two Dogs are buried under this here other tree, it was their favorite spot to dash out when the door was opened up for them. All in hopes to catch a squirrel but they were able to see that there was always movement and gatherings under this ordinary tree. Oddly enough our newest member of the Family, our dog mimics their same enthusiasm to this marked spot. Coincidence? Absolutely not in my world. I call out that it is as these leaves, these two Dogs passing literally broke my heart. However, when we dare to bare and embrace even in our hardships, grief and fear, we are able to see the Beauty of Life Full Circle. 

I went over to this "other" tree, looking over where a limb was cut earlier today that had been struck by Lightning. The marks of black and charred wood surround where the missing limb once resided. We only view Lightning striking as a negative as with my here tree. However, there is a positive charge that occurs in fact when struck. I was watching one of my favorite movies Meet Joe Black oddly enough on New Year's Day. There is one of the scenes that got me vibing the theory on Lightning Striking. May we Open wide our Hearts and Souls in order to allow ourselves to Love Life itself as he describes. Perfect time of Year to emit this Passion after being bolted and charged to live with such tenacity this Year as we unfold the latest chapter in our Love Affair with Life.  

2018 taught me to roar like a lioness at the hardships and to yield a teachableness instead of rolling over to moan and groan. 2018 has empowered me with strength, to be fearless for what my Heart Dreams. To be militant with my Goals and Dreams and to be even more bold and unapologetic about what I desire. Christmas Magic delved deeper this year whereas I will forever be changed. I remembered what was important and held looser to my tasks at hand and made time for the little things that looking back were the big like, strolling through the picturesque Gardens that were adorned with Lights that left you marveled with no words. My decorations have left me overwhelmed with delight that I still am enjoying. I pushed back a Christmas Party with My Service Group of Girls, to Highlight a service outreach instead in December, and now will Celebrate this New Year instead with a party on The Epiphany. Life is full of possibilities and my chosen word for this New Year is Limitless. Allow me to restate that sentence. 2019 is full of LIMITLESS Possibilities for us ALL. With a Heart so full it might burst, Happiest of New Year's for This is The Wonderment Of Life. xo