I'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

Working out today Micheal Jackson's Don't Stop til you Get Enough came on and in a moment it is as if I appeared on the red carpet as the velvet rope was opening for me as the door opened  the door man smiled calling me by name. He said they had been waiting for me to arrive. It was my very own Studio 54 the lights were dim; allowing the inside warmth to embrace me. Lights flickered from all directions harmoniously in sync with the music that played. Everyone there was friendly smiling as if we knew one another knodding our heads some lifting their hands to wave exchanging conversations between our hearts and souls without a word being uttered. I was drawn to the dance floor moving simultaneously to the beat of the music that played. I looked up as if the melody placed a finger under my chin and the D.J. and I smiled at one another. I found myself picking up a headset, putting it on and adjusting the controls before me. Allowing the beat to drive my mood to keep this party going as to choose the given tunes to keep the energy strong within our midst. I liken this to Life and our daily drive to Dream. What is poignant to me in this instance and M.J.'s song, we have the opportunity to say what is enough.  Not our situations, circumstances, friends nor bystanders. Most importantly, our feelings alone are not in authority, liken as to be our workout partner and hold us responsible. Imagine being in the midst of an intense workout; our feelings alone might tell us to slow down or to stop because we have simply had enough. In essesence we were on the cusp of new limits and soaring new heights. 

I believe Christmas is the Grand Finale to our Year excluding New Years Eve of course. Somehow New Years got to piggy back on all this lingering Holiday embodies. I not only celebrate the birth of Jesus during this Holiday I see it as a new beginning; because of  my faith and what I believe His birth represents. I am compelled year after year to strive as the approaching New Year draws near that somehow, somewhere I am able to be more. To do more. That somewhere in the midst of it all, it no longer is able to suffice. Perhaps I have experienced growth. Maybe Laura Ingalls Wilder is correct when she was quoted as saying, "We are better throughout the year for having, in Spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time." I find it an Honor to reflect upon my childhood not only with my Mom but as I stated last blog about my Grandmother's.  They presented me with that everlasting gift to enjoy and share especially during Christmas. Sometimes we reflect upon our past and want to yield a different crop. Oftentimes now my Daughter will strut her independance as the less than a month away teenager and only put a dozen ornaments on her tree in her bedroom because I pack way too many on mine. I giggle wondering how many times I must have said the same only to find myself many years later wishing I could have a manual for how these Ladies did things. All in all, may I be one of her many extremes as the points in a star for her to balance between finding what is her.  As I have overdosed this Holiday in Hallmark movies, I realize sometimes life events have caused us to close off a part of ourselves or lose our way in the Magic this Season truly holds. I think of that song It only takes a spark to get a fire going.... and soon all those around, will warm up to it's glowing. Christmas Magic is unleashed within the each of us when we emit that force to ignite all those we encounter. 

Christmas at Grannie and Papa's growing up was completely opposite of Gran and Grandaddy's. I am utterly grateful for the contrast for it found me dabbling between the two extremes in life as I am as flighty as a Bohemian gal yet grounded and rooted with the passion for depth. Christmas Eve at Grannie's was a fabulous party. My Mother is one of seven children so just their immediate family was quite the gathering. Grannie's Home was opened up to extended family friends, neighbors and friends of friends who arrived as mere strangers but always left embraced and revered as Family. I always found this utterly charming and endearing. These Grandparents lived about three and half hours away in Panama City, Florida and as we drew closer my Heart would anticipate and long for how the evening would go. As an old comfy sweater or worn in blue jeans or jacket, it was soothing not only to reminise on these times but being in the midst; for it was Home. I can still smell her Home after all of these years and hear the chatterings of the people that stood shoulder to shoulder filling their spacious home. Being led by the aroma from the foods that lined her table spilling over and flooding her kitchen. I would step up into her dining room out of the living room there was more food than imaginable. Year after Year the recipes you grew fond of anticipating beautifully displayed before you, sighing as eyes closed as that first taste of Christmas hit your palate.  Grannie always got up and performed a childhood skit from somewhere in her youth. The piano was played by an aunt where another would help lead us in carols. My uncles would gather and sing quartet. All was Merry and Bright. Laughter and Joy were in attendance in big measure. We have Dance Parties on Christmas Night with my Family it has become Tradition gifted by Grannie from Christmas with her and making it my own as I celebrate me Home. To this day I stay up til the wee hours in the morning dancing in my kitchen,  baking Family favorites from my Grannie's; each year adding to the list. In an instant I am a child again. However there is more, I am looking into the most beautiful pool of blue eyes that I am imparting this sense of Wonder. The Wonderment of Life is never stopping or believing and in this Season, in the Spirit of a child; to lose ourselves in Christmas Magic at every age. 


Amy Grant sings these lyrics and my gift to you, My Grown Up Christmas List. 
Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well I'm all grown up now
and still need help somehow
I'm not a child but my heart still can dream.
So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas List
Not for myself, but for a world in need
No more lives torn apart,
Then wars would never start
and time would heal the heart
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win 
And love would never end, oh
This is my grown-up Christmas List 
Merry Merry xoxo