Allow me to please share one of my hardest dreams to see dashed, or not go the way I had planned. I had always envisioned myself as the little ole lady who lived in her shoe, with so many children, she didn't know what to do. Yeah, that didn't entirely happen. I found out with my second pregnancy, something was wrong. Like way wrong. I really dispelled their concerns because my first pregnancy had markers too, they thought my first child would have Downs Syndrome and she was perfectly healthy. I just basically tuned out all I was hearing....until I couldn't justify it any longer. Once I found myself in my beloved doctors office and I was hearing the most unbelievable words to fathom, it finally became reality. I will never forget that day if I live to be a thousand. I can pretty much make the most delicious glass of lemonade ever out of the lemons thrown in my life....until then. I can honestly say, it has been a journey all of it's own since then to now. One that rocked my being to its total Core. But I always pushed on saying to my best friend, " I know this is not all that was meant to be." How many of us have felt that exact same way with other areas in our lives? How many of us just threw in the towel and tried to move past that dream that seemed to not ever be able to exist?
You find me many years later, Claire would be Eight in a week and a few days. For Eight years I have clung to the fact that there was more. More than her Eight weeks of Life. And so there is...
In this picture, you see what I was able to see and be moved to such ecstasy that I pursued more. I attended last weekend a Mother/Daughter day and our Non Profit named after Claire was very instrumental in this day. (www.claireshope.org) I was mesmerized when I showed up and saw these Moms and Daughter's who because of Claire's life and part in this Non Profit were in attendance. I couldn't sing the words they were singing. It was like the words were piercing my innermost parts of my heart. If I were to utter one note I thought all of these years I had been holding fast that I just wouldn't accept it to be what it was, that I wanted to see more, the emotions would have flood out of me without restraint. So I just allowed myself to be immersed in the beauty of that dream. They were singing "You're Beautiful " by Phil Wickham. I will never be the same. I challenge you to look it up on YouTube and allow yourself to sing this with your darkest times, it will change you too. I humbly know that had Claire's Life not heeded this call, someone else would have undoubtedly done so, please know that I am vastly aware. However, the fact I have hung tightly to the fact that this dream although was gone in normal settings; I have seen it is still alive. Oh what a Fantastic Wonderment of Life for me.
We all are composed of Chapters that are all varied from one person to the next. No two Novels are ever the same. As intricate as each persons finger prints are, so are our stories. We will find similarities within another and how much it soothes the soul when you encounter someone whose situations can permeate us to new levels because they too know that feeling that only you thought you knew. What is your Story? I have no idea what mine is, however I pursue to know. I have Chapters that are hilariously a Comedy, others are the can't put down Mystery, A little Drama, but I want to have that Life other's just only wished they had. At the age I sit now, so far I feel that way. Not in a haughty way, no, mere humbleness because even in the worst or best of times, I learned such invaluable lessons that I am only enriched by. I want mine to be on the Best Sellers List or an Epic Movie based on my Story. I have books for my daughter that I fill out that share my Legacy with her. Some ask me questions based on various times in my Life, although its books for her, I often learn a little more of myself as it forces me to reflect back on parts I might've forgotten. The Beautiful Wonderment here is The Story of our Lives. What I find to reign as the most Alluring part is, our stories only depend on US. Situations will come, both good and sad; it is what we orchestrate and compose that will remain.
Allow this song to move you.. I would not take out any Chapter so far in my life from the Happiest to its Utter Worst. They are MY Story. I just wouldn't, couldn't, possibly be the Person I am today without going through what I have. Let us look this way too, Today is your day to write your Story for the rest is still Unwritten... Relish in This Mind Blowing Wonderment,
www.claireshope.org
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